Your Dog Looks Like a Wuss. Stop Dressing Him.

Megan Van Schaick
5

dog coats winter
This dog isn't happy, he's horrified!
Paris Hilton's little Tinkerbell has been very busy modeling for Paris' puppy couture line. The line includes a slinky snakeskin number and some very chic pink (of course) sweaters perfectly suited for mini-dogs. There are even neckties for the menfolk.

Doggie couture is a hot business, with pet owners spending $41 billion a year on their own Tinkerbells.

In the cold, I can see small dogs needing an extra layer to stay warm -- even my 60-pound dog comes in shivering some days. I could maybe, maybe see putting a coat on her if we lived in northern climes, with lots of snow.

But holy crikey, everyone is dressing their dogs up these days.

Martha Stewart recently did a show on winter gear for dogs -- including her Chow. Her. Chow. You know, the big fluffy dogs bred to withstand cold?

Why in the world are we so intent on babying our dogs with winter clothes?

I found some truly ... cute ...? No, that's not really the right word. Look, I love my dogs and spoil them with toys and playtime, but dressing them in these? No effing way.

dog coats winter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Burberry for your dog? The coat isn't what bothers me though. It's the hat. If you can get your dog to wear that for more than 2 seconds, I'll crown you the dog whisperer.

 

dog coats winter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because your dog needs a puffy bomber jacket that looks like an inflated trash bag. Hey, Ke$ha's doing it, why not your dog?

 

dog coats winter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Know what this is? A faux fur swing coat, lined in satin. Satin. You know what will be awesome? When your dog cops a squat and pees all over that $75 coat.

 

dog coats winter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you see what that is there? That is a bunny tail. On a sweater for your dog, who, by the way, already has a tail.

 

dog coats winter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally we have -- yes, yes, it's true ... ugly holiday sweaters for your dogs. Doesn't that lab look just thrilled to be wearing that? He's looking a little hot to me. Know why?

Dogs don't need clothes.

Dogs are not people -- they have this funny little thing called fur to keep them warm.

Some snow boots and a pop-pom hat, now that's what I'm talking about.

 

Do you dress up your dogs? Why or why not?

 

Images via Emery Way/Flickr, Big Dog Boutique, Bow Wows Best, Funny Fur

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