Locked Out Woman Calls Fire Dept -- After Setting House on Fire!

Megan Van Schaick

house on fireWhat do you do when you arrive home in the dark only to find that you’ve locked yourself out in the bitter cold?

I think most of us would probably first pull out a credit card and try to slip the lock. If that doesn’t work, try all the windows. If that doesn’t work, go out back and try everything there. If that doesn’t work, break a window, grab a crate, and boost yourself in.

But, if you are Lorean Simmons, you magically conjure your superhero Harry Potter powers, aim your wand lighter at the canvas awning over your window, and shout, "Incendio!” thereby setting your awning on fire. Then you call the fire department to come put out the fire. And to unlock your door, since they happen to be there anyway.

Brilliant idea, right? I mean, the sheer imagination involved! It makes so much sense! Why break a cheap pane of glass when you could call up some hunky firemen (which also means hunky policemen show up, and charge you with arson)?

Seriously though, what makes someone think in a million years that that is a good solution? The fire department here will come out just to help pick my mother up should she take a tumble. They have time to put in fire alarms and car seats. Couldn’t she just have called the non-emergency number and ... asked?

Lorean was arrested and booked, and being held in the behavioral unit of the county jail, which just screaaaaams a couple of things.

1. She’s mentally unstable (or just mad -- we’ve all done crazy things when we are furious).

2. She’s an addict and needed detox plus the treatment that a behavioral unit provides. That adds a whole new twist! Was she broke and fiending?

3. Was she broke and needed money to provide Christmas for her kids, and hoped to collect insurance money?

Let’s take a poll!


Why do YOU think Lorean set her home on fire?

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