Lawn Ornaments That Assault the Senses


sculpture fightIf you think your neighborhood association is bad, try living in Sag Harbor, a fancy pants area of the Hamptons. Formerly a haven for artists including Jackson Pollock and Lee Krasner, it's now a battleground for two art dealers and public officials.

Take a gander at this giant leg sculpture by acclaimed Larry Rivers that's causing all the discontent in paradise. These legs have been outside the couple's home for two years, but some residents think it's an eye sore and are looking for zoning regulations to forbid the legs from being on display.

I have to say it's growing on me. 

It may not be the most amazing piece of artwork ever produced, but hey, it's better than these lawn ornaments that I would vote right out of town.

awful lawn ornaments

You really don't want to live next door to this guy. REALLY.

awful lawn ornamentsA starving tiger that seems to be able to punch whoever is behind him with his tiger fist. I hope this was a homecoming prank gone awry.

awful lawn ornamentsA drunken Mexican with a missing arm will not endear you to your non-white, non-racist, neighbors. Just an FYI.

awful lawn ornamentsYou can buy a huge lot of these at Wal-Mart and then pray every night before you go to bed that they don't come to life and stab your entire family in their sleep.

What's the worst lawn ornament you've ever seen?

Images (top to bottom): bettyx1138/Flickr, Mykl Reventine/Flickr, H.L.I.T./Flickr, SMN/Flickr

decorating, gardening, outdoors


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mrsrobin mrsrobin

We have a neighbor who will go through the garbage of the neighborhood and take broken or old lawn ornaments and put them in their yard. They have So many they have to use a weed whacker to cut their lawn because a mower wont fit. Its a huge eye sore.

Not to mention seeing my garbage in their yard.

marya... maryannmink

A vote for McCain/Palin sign.

sahma... sahmalama

Hey Maryannmink, at least the Palin sign doesn't totally stink up your whole life like the Obama presidency does. Perhaps some critical thinking is in order?

Jesse... JesseDegenerate


Yes, it is critical you take your head and remove it from the sand. Please figure it out before you and your friends ruin this country forever. 


idiots polarizing the country, waving a flag that you have no intention of honoring. "tea party" sigh. 

jagam... jagamama0710

Ahhh...way to turn this into a political debate.

sahmalama - Perhaps you should go look for your sense of humor and get over yourself.

There's a house down the road from us that always has a yard full of ornaments. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it. Just a collectino of ornaments. At x-mas time it's even worse. Every inch of that yard has something in it and is covered in lights. It's hilarious but I'm glad I don't live by them. :P

nonmember avatar Phil

They are yard ornaments for Gods sake, they will not come alive, and harm you, or anyone or anything. If they are alarming to you maybe you should seek professional help because you have way too much idol time on your hands.

Nuff said
Phil from Baltimoe

nonmember avatar Carol

We live in a house built in 1823, so we decorate it w/ pine cone swags on the porch, fresh greens and big fat candles in outr 2nd story window boxes. It is, we're told by admirers, stunning, tasteful and elegant.
Our neighbors have a gazzilion blinking, colored lights and all kinds of huge inflatables. Everyone asks if we're apppalled, if we hate it. We don't....know why? Because they are the kindest nicest, most fun neighbors you could ever wish for.

nonmember avatar byroni

i've got two super freaky lawns for you. the first one is a place very close to my parents house, while it's not exactly a "lawn" it certainly hits the mark for this article. it is out in the middle of nowhere and is in fact what is referred to as a "body farm" . this means that there are about 100 human corpses in various stages of decomposition around the compound. most are far enough behind the fence they can't be seen, but there are some that are visible, and worse is the odor.
second is my current neighbor. his house is a large Scottish manor style house, or the embodyment of Malfoy Manor from harry potter, he has huge vaults in which he plans to be buried in, and relocated his family's cemetary from their old location to the grounds of his new house.

nonmember avatar Ash

This guy has a ton of decorations and junk in his yard. It's like an explosion of 4th of July and a yard sale. An he always has a yard sale. It's really awful to look at because his yard looks so cluttered

nonmember avatar Chris

The hyper-partisans can even turn a discussion of LAWN ORNAMENTS into cheap political bickering. Amazing. RESTORE SANITY!

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