The volume on those pesky TV commercials is about to be turned down by Congress, thanks to the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation Act (CALM), which made it through the Senate last week. Please, hold your applause.
Not only is the bill not quite there yet -- it still faces one more vote, plus President Barack Obama has to put his signature on it -- quieter commercials may not be all they're cracked up to be.
Sure, the plan is to limit commercials to the same level of volume as the shows they interrupt. Everyone from Consumers Union to the FCC is on board, and it's ultimately going to give our ears a major break.
But your life is about to change forever:
1. No more drop in volume to tell you to stop popping zits in the mirror, er, hurry up and finish peeing already.
2. No sudden burst of loud noise from the living room that you can use as an excuse to get off the phone with your sister or tell the kids a 16th bedtime story is out of the question because you have to go turn down the TV.
3. Nothing to wake you up when you're "watching" the football game with your significant other.
4. No way to hear your favorite commercial (oh, come on, everyone has one that makes them guffaw) when you're out of the room.
5. No volume drop to pull you out of the fridge and save you from that sundae you were about to make.
6. No signal that your kids' show is really over and it really is bath time (because you think they're going to tell you?).
Are you ready for the turn-down?
Image via Leo-Seta/Flickr