Are you a stressed-out mom? HA!! As if there were any other kind. Or perhaps you have a stressed-out mom in your life (again, if you have a mom in your life at all, then YES, you have a stressed-out mom in your life). One more question: Are you a last-minute shopper? (I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and guess the answer is "yes" yet again.)

Anyway. Whether you're still on need of the perfect Mother's Day gift for a certain stressed-out someone or you're looking to drop a few hints, we've got a few suggestions guaranteed to save the day. Because you know what they say: If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. NOBODY. You got that?!

While writing recent pieces about how you know if you're the mom of a boy or the mom of a girl, I realized there are so many indicators that separate us moms (in general) from everyone else on Earth. So here it is: You know you're a mom if ...

1.  You haven't heard your actual name the entire day, but you've been beckoned relentlessly.

2.  You've ever sang The Wheels on The Bus with the same enthusiasm you once sang I Will Survive.

3.  Lying is always an option as in ... "I'm sorry, the game store is closed on Sunday." "I love the outfit you put together yourself." "Yes, you do sound like Beyonce when you sing." and "No, they don't give ketchup at the drive-thru."

4.  You have a stain on your clothing that you would have to taste to place.  What is that latte or spit up? One sec… Hmmm... Oh, it's spit up.

I recently read a sentimental piece about the 30 things every woman should have and know by 30. Shockingly, I could check many of those items off my to-do list. What's more shocking is that I'm not 30 anymore, not even close.

A whole decade has passed. Where did it go? An amazing husband, multiple careers, a recession, two incredible children, and the blink of an eye later, I'm 40. There are many subtle yet life-changing differences a decade makes, which is why in my attempt to embrace existence (numberically speaking), I wrote this list. (This may not be as sentimental as its predecessor, but hey, I'm a humor columnist.)

By 40, you should have …

My whole life I've been convinced the most stressful place to live is the city I'm living in. The 'burbs where I grew up were too cold too many months out of the year, Boston's public transportation is frustratingly slow, LA's traffic was a beast, and NYC is just OMG overwhelmingly crowded and dirty and rude. As it turns out, only one of the states I called home for a time made the current Gallup poll of five most stressful places to live in the U.S. 

The results were determined by asking over 350K people one simple question: “Did you feel stressed during a lot of the day yesterday?” Yup, that's it! And based on their responses, here's what Gallup came up with as the five most hair-pulling, teeth-clenchingly stressful states ...

Now that it finally feels like maaaaybe we're seeing the light at the end of the long winter tunnel, you may be starting to think about coming out of hibernation and make some spring travel plans! Whether you're hitting the road or boarding a plane, nothing cures the late winter blues like getting out of your usual surroundings and having an eye-opening, relaxing, or just plain fun experience somewhere new.

To inspire your journey, check out these 10 feel-good quotes about travel ... 

A few weeks ago, Stir staff writer Jacqueline Burt dove into the moms-on-meds debate when she wrote "5 Ways Medication Can Make You a Better Mom." Well today she got to tell her story on Anderson Live. With her was a mom with a very different perspective on moms on meds, and also parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba.

I got to watch the show from the audience, and I've gotta say, the woman sitting next to me wasn't having any of this moms-on-meds business. But she seems like the exception. Overall, I think most of us moms get it: Modern parenting is stressful, and some of us need that extra help. But are we reaching too quickly for meds and by-passing other ways to cope with that stress?

We're so accustomed to multitasking just about every minute of our day that when it comes time to do something that requires our undivided attention, it can be really hard to break the addiction of texting, surfing the web, or taking phone calls. But some moments really require that we put down the @$!*-ing phone. Like anytime we hit the gym.

The gym chain Planet Fitness is especially serious about this rule. They have a bazillion signs up all over all of their gyms reminding members of their no cellphone rule. And one Massachusetts woman named Tina Santoro Asmar recently learned they're not kidding around. She claims the gym's general manager came after her with a "bizarrely angry" crackdown after she answered an "unexpected call from her doctor's office" while using an elliptical last week. The confrontation ended with her getting booted out of the gym. For good. Ha!

During a spa trip for my 40th, it became apparent that when seven moms get together for some R&R, they become alarmists. Yep, we spent much of our "relaxation" time discussing what to avoid and how it could kill you.

I know, you totally want to party with us.

We couldn't even escape our cynical chit chat by catching a flick on pay-per-view. Who was going to risk their lives and touch the germ-laden hotel remote? Someone also mentioned that one should avoid handling menus. Needless to say, this made ordering dinner quite difficult. Thankfully, it didn't hamper the flow of sarcasm and margaritas (my favorite combo).

After my vacay I posted, "A Sarcastic Look at 19 Common Things That'll Kill Ya" and was relieved to learn that I'm not the only lame-o who sits around discussing this crap. So, here's a list of more everyday things I've actually been told to avoid, just don't quote me on the effects.

Reading this list can cause ironic revelations, incontinence, and typhoid: