I collect plastic surgery horror stories the way some people collect precious porcelain figurines. The latest? The saga of a botched butt boost involving an exotic dancer from Baltimore. The dancer, who has not been named in reports, was hospitalized for shortness of breath after undergoing a shady procedure in which silicone was injected into her buttocks: The implant affected her lungs and resulted in pneumonia. The shoddy buttocks enhancement, which was allegedly conducted in a local hotel room by another woman who has been arrested, is only the most recent a series of stories highlighting the dangers of a disturbing (and sometimes deadly!) trend.

Did you wake up feeling ancient and creaky this morning? Did you shuffle over to the sink to brush your teeth, glance in the mirror, and startle at the sight of those creepy signs of aging: the untamable gray hairs, the telltale lines and wrinkles?

Don't worry: It turns out you're probably way younger than you think you are! A new Census Bureau study has found that nearly three times as many Americans are living to the age of 90 and beyond as they did just three decades ago. And those numbers are expected to continue to rise dramatically: By the middle of this century, experts predict, the ranks of the oldest of the old will swell from 1.9 million to ... around 8.7 million. That's a lot of mega-oldsters!

We've seen drug addicts, teen moms, chronic hoarders, and a host of people with other serious issues sacrificed to the reality TV gods -- their deeply personal troubles and struggles paraded before us for our casual entertainment. Now, apparently, it's people with eating disorders' turn.

Yep, Lifetime TV has announced plans to premiere a new reality show following people with eating disorders, Starving Secrets, on December 2. The show's host, Tracey Gold, who as a teen starring on the sitcom Growing Pains went through her own struggle with anorexia nervosa, swears the show will be tasteful and not exploitative, but honestly, I have a hard time believing that will be the case.

From the first second I heard about the Reebok EasyTone sneakers "technology" -- I had an eensy inclination the shoes were bogus (read: I'm no fool). But as a woman, I can't help but be intrigued by anything that promises model-style stems. Alas, the FTC stuck it to the sportswear giant this week when they ordered Reebok to cough up $25 million to customers who bought the popular toning shoes. Epic. Fail.

While they're not saying the sneaks are a complete load of bull, they ARE saying the claims they make in those sexy commercials featuring the skinny mini with the killer gams are over-exaggerated, and there's no legit proof the product yields superb toning results. RATS. You mean a pair of sneakers can't make me look like Gisele? Goshdarnit.

Alas, there IS good news: There are a bajillion ways to tone up without Reebok's help. We've just got to get back to the basics with these 4 toning tricks:

Thinner women are happier in their relationships, according to research from the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science. But it's not just "thin women" in general. It's relative. Meaning if a wife has a lower body mass index (BMI) than her husband, he's supposedly going to be more satisfied initially, and she's supposedly going to be "more satisfied" over time.

Ooookay. Well, given society's standards of beauty and gender roles, it makes sense that most guys want to be with a woman who is smaller than he is, especially before changes (pregnancies, menopause, etc.) that cause women to gain weight. But what about the idea that we're happier in the long-run if we're thinner than our guy? Could it be that if a woman weighs less and thus considers herself more attractive than her man -- the person she's closest to and likely spends the most time with -- she feels better about herself in general?

This can easily become of the most dreaded times of the year for many of us, if only because it's bathing suit season. Media and advertising have us believing we're practically supposed to sweat bullets over what styles look best on our body types, what cover-ups look the most chic and least muu-muu-ish, what kinds of cellulite cream will do nothing for "reduce the appearance of" our various lumps and bumps. That's just what we do every summer, right?

But according to a new survey of about 1,000 women 18 years old and up, conducted for ShopSmart (which is from the publisher of Consumer Reports), we're not falling into that trap of self-hatred so easily anymore!

Only about 18 percent of respondents didn't like how they look in a bathing suit, while 40 percent are impartial, and 36 percent are "OK with it." Apparently, this is good, exciting, happy news, because so few women reported being unhappy with how they look.

I've heard my fair share of stupid laws. In Kentucky, it's illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket. In Connecticut, it's against the law to insert a penny into your ear. And apparently in New York City, it's a crime to wear a skirt while riding a bike. Well, almost.

Jasmin Rijcken was stopped by a NYPD cop for flashing too much skin while riding her bicycle, saying that her long legs were disturbing for passing cars. The 31-year-old visiting Dutch tourist thought the man was joking at first, but then he got angry and asked for ID, she told the New York Daily News.

Wait a gosh darn second. This is coming out of the city where going topless is 100 percent legal?! Aren't we missing out on the bigger picture here? Rijcken was stopped for being physically fit AND attractive. Epic fail, New York City. Just epic.

Working in media, particularly in Hollywood or when covering pop culture, it's not uncommon to hear that your colleagues believe you can never be "too rich or too thin." That mentality always made me want to scream, because it's so over-the-top, unapologetically superficial and dangerous. Furthermore, the truth is, some people can't handle being "too rich" and of course you can be "too thin!"

Case in point: LeAnn Rimes Cibran. The newlywed singer tweeted bikini pics of herself over the weekend, and  I feel pretty confident hypothesizing that she has some kind of disorder. She has to be mentally unstable and/or have an eating disorder and/or some kind of medical condition like hyperthyroidism. Thankfully, the general Twitter consensus seemed to be that she doesn't look normal, healthy, or okay.