POSTS WITH TAG: relationships

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    There are many good reasons to seek a divorce. But is this one? A man who wanted to divorce his wife for putting on weight has been denied. NO, the court said, fat is not grounds for divorce. The husband claims that his wife gained weight rapidly shortly after their wedding and he was unable to enjoy the, ahem, intimate privileges of married life with her after that. (They're remaining anonymous.) He also says she refused to get medical treatment despite his pleading. And he's upset because she never told him about the breast reduction surgery she'd gotten a few years prior to the marriage.

    Is this husband giving you the angries? Well wait, there's more to this story.

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    Those of us with sisters know -- that relationship can be tricky. My own sister is just 18 months younger than I am. We played together every day as kids. We fought, we cried, we bonded. We've said horrible things to each other, and then made up. We love each other like crazy and can't imagine life without each other's support.

    That's why it saddens me to see what appears to be some tension between Beyoncé and her sister Solange. Of course, we have no idea what's really going on! But it's because of my own relationship with my sister that I see Beyoncé's posting of photos with Solange on Instagram as a sincere gesture toward peace-making. Sister relationships are complicated! But here's what I've learned about how to manage them, mostly from my own sister's superior example.

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    Women have complicated relationships with each other. Any girl who has gone through middle school knows this. One day, someone is your best friend. The next, you are persona non grata. Problem is, it's now happening to more and more grownups too. It hurts no matter how old we are, noted Sarah Jessica Parker in a new interview with British Harper's Bazaar. According to the Sex and the City star, women are more cruel to each other now than ever. And she's right. So when did this mean girl behavior become the rule rather than the exception?

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    I spent much of my life looking about five steps ahead of me, always planning my next move without ever actually experiencing or enjoying what was happening right at that specific moment.

    Perhaps it's because I'm getting older (and my kids are getting older), but I've decided that focusing on today is not just the healthier choice, but also the happier one too.

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    When I tell people that I hadn't talked to my dad for a year or so before he died, I cannot tell you the number of times I get all sorts of looks of horror as if I've committed some awful crime.

    I realize that some people feel as though family members should get a lot of extra chances, even if they've hurt you deeply. In fact, I was one of those people.

    But now I say "screw that." These days, I'm all about protecting my heart. If only I had done that sooner.

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    As much as I consider myself to be a good communicator most of the time, I am a total victim of the crystal ball mentality. I'm pretty sure I just made that up, but I bet you're familiar with it.

    It's when you assume people will know what you want and need without you actually saying it.

    As you might guess, this not only puts the other person in an awkward position, it can lead to a whole lot of disappointment. So I'm working hard, maybe even starting on my New Year's resolutions early, and ditching this way of thinking once and for all.

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    This family better not expect anything other than coal this Christmas. There are many things people argue about during the holidays: who cooks, who visits, what kind of gifts to give. But this may be a first. Three relatives in South Carolina got into a brawl for the most ridiculous reason imaginable: the Christmas tree.

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    I can't even imagine what it would feel like to be a mom who has been diagnosed with breast cancer and wants nothing more than to spend every minute I can hugging, hanging out with, and enjoying the company of my young child. And if I were the young child in this situation, I would want to attach myself to my mom's leg and never let go. 

    So it's insanely disturbing to discover that Kerri Mascareno, a mom from New Mexico who is battling stage 4 breast cancer, has reportedly been told by her daughter's elementary school to keep far away because the smell from her chemotherapy pills is overwhelming and offensive. 

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    I learned more from a 20-year-old woman from Maryland today than I have from all the books and articles I've read and people I've spoken to this month. Just two weeks ago, Kristen Loetz was shot in the face by Ryan Shallue, a scornful ex-boyfriend, who then turned the gun on and killed Charles Abbott, a male friend who was trying to protect her, before fatally shooting himself.

    So what do you suspect the nursing student did when she was released from the hospital a few days ago? Find herself so destroyed by anger that she could barely utter a word to another human being that wasn't disdainful? I mean, that would be totally normal, wouldn't it? 

    But no -- this amazing woman instead took to Facebook and forgave her attacker

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    Dear readers, can I make just the mildest, most polite suggestion? You may want to consider widening your social circle a wee bit. I just found out that 40 percent of white Americans have no friends of color. Not a one. We are that segregated. But it's not really that surprising, when you think about it, sadly.

    So I admit, my first response to this news went something along the lines of: Whaddaya mean you don't have any non-white friends?!? That's pathetic! Do you live under a rock? Go outside your house and find some damn people of color. Jesus, it's not that hard -- we're all over the place. But hold on, I know it's more complicated than that.

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