I usually roll my eyes when fitness instructors try to get deep and profound and say things like, "Why are you really here today?" My internal answer: We're really here to burn off the mac and cheese we ate off our kids' plates last night even though we promised ourselves that we wouldn't this time ... and to get some endorphins going so we can keep it all together for another 24 hours.

Then the other day, my spinning teacher said something that struck me. Really struck me. All you fellow eye-rollers out there, just hear me out.

She said, "You ride the way you live your life." What she meant was, your workout style and your life "style" are often a mirror, and rarely, if ever, do we make that connection.

Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't seem to have a problem patting herself on the back for all of the awesome she exudes on a regular basis. And when she expresses this, err, "healthy self-esteem," she often comes out with quotes that sound absolutely crazy -- especially when taken out of context. Take the most recent incident along these lines ...

The GOOP Queen was speaking to reporters at the opening of her trainer Tracy Anderson's flagship studio in L.A., and Gwynnie recalled one time when she was trying on bathing suits with a friend. Referring to her rear, Gwyneth said, "I said, 'You know, this isn't so bad for 40, right?' And [my friend] goes, 'It's not so bad for a 22-year-old stripper!'" Oh, Gwyneth! Gwyneth, Gwyneth. What are we gonna do with you, honey?

Granted, she herself didn't say that, I guess. But she repeated it, right? Oh well, at any rate, she did say something of actual value after that ...

Why is it every time I reach behind me in the car to hand my children a toy/drink/video game, I end up pulling a muscle? I used to be limber, stretchy, "bendy," but now I can barely walk to the bathroom without something cracking or popping. Listen, the only thing that should be snapping, crackling, or popping in the morning is my children's cereal!

Which is why I invited Rob Sulaver, trainer to the stars and founder of Bandana Training, to come on The Jenny Isenman Show.

Watch after the jump for a (quick) kick-ass morning stretch to get you through the day -- without having to pop anything back into place!

Fact: Working out can be really, really boring. So boring that sometimes it seems like you'd rather deal with an extra pound or two than face yet another tedious mile on the treadmill or lap in the pool.

Fact: Being chased by zombies is never boring. You'd rather run until your legs fell off than face a grisly undead attack, right?

That's exactly why the Zombie Survival Workout is such a brilliant idea. The brain-eating child of fitness expert and personal trainer Leigh Peele, this cardio-heavy routine doesn't just burn calories, it sharpens all the skills you'll need to successfully navigate the coming Zombie Apocalypse! Because if you don't think you're gonna have to get pretty good at scaling a chain link fence, well, you clearly need to catch up on The Walking Dead.

Is Beyonce using the "Master Cleanse" to shed that baby weight? Celeb trainer Jillian Michaels doubts it. TMZ cornered her (literally) to ask if the rumors about Beyonce and the Master Cleanse are true. It's not a stretch -- Beyonce told Oprah she lost 20 pounds in two weeks on the cleanse back in 2006.

In case you're not already familiar with it, the Master Cleanse is that diet where you survive on nothing but tea, lemonade, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup for days. Jillian Michaels' take on it is DON'T DO IT.

Well, there goes feeling virtuous for making it to the gym 3 times a week: Apparently the latest fitness trend in NYC is working out 2 or 3 times a day. 3 times a day! (And supposedly these uber-toned types also manage to hold down full-time jobs!)

Most of them are women who belong to very, very pricey "boutique" gyms (ballpark: $1,000 monthly fee) where personal trainer-level push is part of the pricetag. But is going to the gym 3 times a day ... healthy? Some repeat visitors don't seem sure:

"Everyone’s always just trying to look better and better ... some people think it’s crazy. ... But you see so many other people doing it, you don’t feel crazy.”

Well ... maybe the word "crazy" is a bit strong ... but I wouldn't call it "normal."

Since I work from home most days, the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is work out at home. I need to get out of the house, and that's why I pretty much ran screaming to my nearest affordable neighborhood gym. But even if it isn't a hassle to get there, the CROWDS these days! Oh, those New Year's resolution-ers are everywhere (they seem to be multiplying by the SUV-load every day since the first of the year!), and they're starting to make me re-think my own strategy. Do I have no choice but to return to working on my fitness back at my apartment?

Quite possibly. In fact, most of us might soon be doing that, because it looks like the future of fitness lies no further than our laptops.

Nothing inspires me to take care of my health like watching my female relatives age. I have their genes, after all, so they're a pretty good indication of what's ahead for me. It's been a rough few years for my mother. She suffers from arthritis. Her knees ache so badly she's had to cut back on her great passion, gardening. Even standing in her front yard raking up the mimosa blossoms has become too much for her. She finally found a holistic practitioner who helped her cope with the pain, but it was just a band-aid. Just last week my mother finally faced the inevitable: She had the first of two knee replacement surgeries.

Those of you who have known knee surgery have seen that it doesn't magically transform your knees. There's months of physical therapy, a recovery that can take forever, and then you still have to do the other knee! My poor mom, I hate that she has to go through this! But -- I'd also hate to go through it myself. Can I prevent the same thing happening to my knees?