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Here on CafeMom, we talk about abortion, but mostly just to say whether we agree with it or not. Rarely, does someone "TALK" about abortion...until now. Thanks to AquarianPath for being courageous enough to come forward with her story...
Below is an excerpt from a journal post by CafeMom AquarianPath.
Yes, I've aborted before. It wasn't an easy decision. My husband and I made it together.
No, I don't regret what I did. But the reality is something that I don't expect other people to understand or comprehend, empathize or sympathize with.
So, here I am opening myself up and making myself vulnerable. Why? Because it's ok. Not everyone will get it...I always try to remain as open and honest as possible. Even if it hurts. I refuse to be like the horribly mean-hearted people who only look on the surface of an individual, judging them when they have no right. So yes, I'm afraid to open up, but here's my story:
I miscarried in January 2006. I lost my brother in February 2006. I wound up with a tubal pregnancy in April 2006. Then my oldest son had a severe break down and was hospitalized. We were supposed to get PCSed [permanent-change-of-station] to Dover, Delaware, but that was put off because of my son's illness. My uncle died in July 2006.... and I ended up pregnant again. I aborted because I panicked. I honestly couldn't do it.
We were transferred to Dover in September 2006, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2006. I went through the most horrific and terrifying battle of my life. It changed me and how I viewed the world....and how I viewed myself and the abortion...
I knew the cancer wasn't from the pregnancies or the abortion. Because I had been having symptoms of cancer since I was pregnant with my second son back in 2004-05 (bleeding from the nipple, and pain in the breast after I gave birth to my second son). So the cancer was already there when I miscarried, terminated, and aborted.
However, I still can't help but feel that I was punished. Does that mean I regret aborting? Not exactly. I regret I was in that situation and I was a coward. But I still felt that it was the right choice. Confused? Yeah,I was too. This is what you get when you look behind the facade and see the raw complexities of human emotions...
Click this link to read the rest of her journal post about abortion.
License Plates: The Best Place for an Abortion Debate?
A Mom Confronts the Possibility of Down Syndrome
A Romantic Comedy About Abortion
Comments (6)
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Most of us have such an emotional investment in our pro-life/pro-choice opinion, that we don't often HEAR what someone else is saying on the subject. Thank you again for sharing this with us.
how brave of her for sharing her story.. despite knowing what reaction she may get from some people. That takes some major guts.. good for her for exposing abortion a bit. I dont agree with her decision but I CAN respect it as her own, and I respect her for being so open about it.
sounds like you would have lost it in the cancer battle if you had kept it in there so the way it looks to me you saved the baby and yourself from a much harder, traumatic, and more painful time...
I hope that you are doing fine now. Honestly what you did is not shameful.Of course you will never forget. But you did what was best for you at that time.
In your post you stated that you thought you were being punished for what you did, but I don't believe that. Think of this: Everyday babies and innocent children are diagnosed with the worst most painful fatal diseases, everyday single day. Did these children do something to deserve this? Of course not. People in society, not including you, but some, try to perpetuate this idea that if we do something "wrong" we will be punished for it, but then why are the truly innocent punished or meant to suffer? Also I do not think you were a coward. I think you were brave, no one and maybe even yourself included can understand all the variables that have occurred in a person's life to lead them up to certain decisions. Things just aren't that simple. Bringing another human being into this world is not something to be taken lightly by anyone, perhaps if people considered the significance of this act and all its implications this world would be a different place. The greatness that created this universe loves you.