Here on CafeMom, we talk about abortion, but mostly just to say whether we agree with it or not. Rarely, does someone "TALK" about abortion...until now. Thanks to AquarianPath for being courageous enough to come forward with her story...
Below is an excerpt from a journal post by CafeMom AquarianPath.
Yes, I've aborted before. It wasn't an easy decision. My husband and I made it together.
No, I don't regret what I did. But the reality is something that I don't expect other people to understand or comprehend, empathize or sympathize with.
So, here I am opening myself up and making myself vulnerable. Why? Because it's ok. Not everyone will get it...I always try to remain as open and honest as possible. Even if it hurts. I refuse to be like the horribly mean-hearted people who only look on the surface of an individual, judging them when they have no right. So yes, I'm afraid to open up, but here's my story:
I miscarried in January 2006. I lost my brother in February 2006. I wound up with a tubal pregnancy in April 2006. Then my oldest son had a severe break down and was hospitalized. We were supposed to get PCSed [permanent-change-of-station] to Dover, Delaware, but that was put off because of my son's illness. My uncle died in July 2006.... and I ended up pregnant again. I aborted because I panicked. I honestly couldn't do it.
We were transferred to Dover in September 2006, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2006. I went through the most horrific and terrifying battle of my life. It changed me and how I viewed the world....and how I viewed myself and the abortion...
I knew the cancer wasn't from the pregnancies or the abortion. Because I had been having symptoms of cancer since I was pregnant with my second son back in 2004-05 (bleeding from the nipple, and pain in the breast after I gave birth to my second son). So the cancer was already there when I miscarried, terminated, and aborted.
However, I still can't help but feel that I was punished. Does that mean I regret aborting? Not exactly. I regret I was in that situation and I was a coward. But I still felt that it was the right choice. Confused? Yeah,I was too. This is what you get when you look behind the facade and see the raw complexities of human emotions...
Click this link to read the rest of her journal post about abortion.