How Many People Have You Had Sex With?

on October 7, 2009 at 12:00 PM

sex partners Oh the ever daunting question of how many sexual partners you've had.

Some have no problem revealing the number, others...well maybe they can't remember. I had an ex-boyfriend tell me he had no idea. I assumed the worst -- maybe he couldn't count that high.

I personally wouldn't offer up the info during breakfast.

Hey honey, can you pass the butter? I had sex with x guys by the way. Oh and I x with x girls, too. Thanks. Did you already put sugar in my coffee?

I personally have no problem sharing my number with my hubs. And what he did (or rather how many) before he was with me has no effect on our realtionship.

But if your partner asks, what do (or did) you do?

Of course, there are three ways that conversation could go:

You could lie. I've heard the rule of thumb to add five to whatever number someone tells you because they never reveal the truth. Some do, I'm sure.
You could tell the truth.
You could dodge the question. Say something like...oh baby, you are so amazing, it's like there was no one before you.

Have you revealed your sexual past to your partner?

How Many Sexual Partners Have You Had?

How Many Men Have You Slept With

About the author Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

Filed Under: sex life

Comments (13)

DreaKevAiyana

on Oct 7, 2009 at 12:44 PM

When DH & I were first dating, maybe about 3 months in or so, it casually came up - I just said I could count them on 2 hands, and same with him - that means either 6 or 10, lol - but I have an idea on his exact #, and he probably knows mine now, too. He's the only SO that I've ever had that conversation with, no one else mattered enough to me to even ask!

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toriandgrace

on Oct 7, 2009 at 1:13 PM

My hubby knows mine and I know his. Mine is a much smaller number than his, probably because when we were both at college, he was drunk in a dorm and I was living at home.. pregnant. It doesn't matter now though.

amw529

on Oct 7, 2009 at 1:33 PM

I had an opposite problem. I was nervous to tell my husband when we started dating that I was a 30 year old virgin. He's shared his history with me, and obviously he's my one and only :)

AgentBrez

on Oct 7, 2009 at 3:42 PM

my husband and i talked about it while we were dating. he was a virgin, i was not. i wish i had waited until we married so he would have been my one and only like i am for him.

navyma23

on Oct 7, 2009 at 4:59 PM

I can count on one hand how many partners I've had. Hubby can't. He wasn't a man whore, but I don't really want to know his number. I just know its more than me.

6Swans

on Oct 7, 2009 at 6:09 PM

My husband and I ,like the article said, have always said that as far as we are concerned we are each others first. It is not a lie for us because we ARE each others first true love/soul mate. I had a child from a very brief, previous marriage and he adopted that child, but we decided that the past doesn't matter, we are making a fresh start.

justanotherjen

on Oct 7, 2009 at 7:23 PM

I don't think my husband has ever asked and we've been together for 10 years. If I even mention an ex-boyfriend his jaw gets all set and he ignores me or changes the subject, lol.

In the end I have nothing to hide. I've only been with 3 guys including him so it's not like I'm all embarrased or something.

Lynette

on Oct 8, 2009 at 3:49 AM

hubby and I were both virgins on our wedding night. no secrets there!

kfroz0415

on Oct 8, 2009 at 2:55 PM

I must just be nosey... lol

Dh and I were dating for maybe a couple of months when things started getting to a point where we might become sexually active with each other so I asked him. Point blank. I have every right to know. Granted I didn't expect it was many since he had dated his ex fiance for 3½ years and they got together when he was 16. Granted they ended the relationship because she had a boyfriend and had cheated on him with multiple other guys and he had cheated on her with a few girls. But had he had this gigantic list or couldn't remember I may have been more reserved in how much longer we waited. I also would have made him get tested again if his ex hadn't just done it and felt the need to call and share her clean results with him (weird I know lol).

I'm not embarassed by my small number because I was in a long relationsip with all 3 guys (this includes him and one was a one time only before we broke up for other reasons) and his number was higher but still on one hand so that's not terrible either.

I also have to agree that we don't dwell on the past. We may not have been each other's first but we are each other's now, only, and last so that works for us.

NDesmond

on Oct 10, 2009 at 7:55 PM

I have a big number and its not something I'm ashamed of. I keep a written list (now a typed list) of all of my partners. It's not that I was a slut or easy, it's just that I enjoy sex. My friends call it "having sex like a man", because I can have sex without emotional attachment. My boyfriend's number is significantly less (I assume), but then he was married for three years and with the same girl for six years.

Normally I have no problem telling my number when asked. But we talked about it and he said that he really doesn't want to know. As far as he's concerned, any past I have is irrelevant, and so I haven't asked for his either. So we've both kept our numbers secret.