bed sheets, marriage

Photo from Cafe Sheri

Note to self: Make time for your husband and your marriage.

This past weekend, my husband and I did an overnighter in San Francisco. Two full days. One night. We hit our ninth wedding anniversary a few weeks ago, so we considered it a celebration of sorts when we decided to meet up with our friends, a newly married couple from Vermont.

I have to admit, in the weeks prior to the short trip, we were arguing off and on, getting snippy, pushing each other's buttons, the ones we know so well after nine years of marriage and a few more of togetherness. House, family, and money responsibilities were at the top of the bicker list. And bicker we did.

However, in San Francisco, we enjoyed lunch. Alone. Some toodling around and talking, sometimes even about the kids. Alone. And then we met up with our friends, chatted, enjoyed, laughed, toodled some more, had a nice long dinner, and then returned to our hotel room — where my husband and I were again alone. No kids would come in throughout the night.

And can I just say, not one fight or jab or eye roll? We had nice conversations that didn't get interrupted and time with friends and meals and walks and lots more of all that.

Since we've been home, the responsibilities and the number of things on our plate has not lessened. But it feels so much easier. Kids got loved and schlepped around. Meals got made. Groceries got purchased. Work days got done. No one complained or whined (not even me). And everything feels lighter. And good, like a good marriage should.

(Thanks, Mom and Dad for watching the boys for us!)

How do you make time for your marriage or relationship? How do you make sure you get time alone on a regular basis or do you?