Moms Who Like to Be Alone: Are You One?


solitude, alone timeI have been thinking about Uma Thurman's doctor's prescription for alone time.

Now that's a prescription to which I could get addicted.

Human beings are complex. We often feel seemingly contradictory feelings about something at the same time. That doesn't make one feeling or the other any less real or less valid. It might just mean something is a little out of balance in our lives.

For instance, sometimes I just want my family to go far, far away and leave me alone.

However, then I want them to come back!

I also secretly want my own apartment down the street.

But I still want to live here with my husband and kids!

This is all completely normal. Taking breaks and even "vacations" from motherhood — or wanting to — is a completely healthy response to the everyday challenges of raising kids.

Nothing chaps my hide more than when a mom expresses that she's overwhelmed with some or all aspects of parenting and someone responds, even jokingly, with, "Maybe you shouldn't have had kids then."

Are you kidding me? That's like a passionate and hard-working professional putting in a vacation request and the Human Resources department saying, "If you want vacation time so badly, maybe you shouldn't have a job then."

Too much of a good thing is pretty much always a bad thing, and that goes for motherhood too. No matter how much we love our kids and like our "jobs" as mothers, if we don't take time to rest and rejuvenate, to visit with friends or read a book, or heck, to stare out the window for a nice half hour, then we're not doing anyone any good, especially our kids. We get cranky and resentful, even depressed and unhappy.

Do you simultaneously love being a mom and want to be alone? What do you do about it?

mental health, time for you


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josie... josie_mommyof2



That "alone time"....that stuff still exists?! I would like to order a month's worth please!!! lol With a 6 year old and 3 year old, I'm lucky if I can go to the bathroom without someone banging on the door!

justj... justjean111

When I was raising my five grown children my favorite line to them was "just give me five minutes peace", I felt guilty for this at the time but now that I have gotten older, 47, and still have two girls at home, I have come to LOVE being alone.  My last child started school last year and they go back on the 12th of this month and I can't wait!  Not that I want to get rid of my kids, but I love the time alone to be creative and it has made me realize that somewhere in between being someone's wife and someon'e mother, I lost me.  I am having fun finding myself again, I recommend alone time to all moms everywhere!bow down

cat727 cat727

i would love alone time, you almost get lost and forget who you were as a person. we need breaks too. balance.

auror... aurorabunny

A-l-o-n-e...what?  Huh?  What is that?

Seriously YES I would love some.

wildf... wildflowers25

 I would love to shower and not have to rush, not fly through a store, have a phone conversation with my mom without having to get off 3 minutes after I say hello. 

athenax3 athenax3

I was a fairly solitary person prior to my family I just really relish PEACE, and I do miss the alone time that I used to have so much of. I enjoy going to lunch or dinner by myself, or an extended day of shopping and just roaming all alone. DH thinks it's odd that i like to be alone, as in no one else but me- but I like me, I enjoy my own company and appreciate not being on anyone elses schedule or budget or mood, just mine. Now if I get to eat a banana that a kid doesn't take out of my hand I think I'm doing pretty good, lol...

aiden... aidensema

i love being alone too. i cant wait to get aiden on that bus on his first day of school and have 4 hours all to myself to do what i please, which will probably be cleanin and dishes but still.....i'll get to do it without hearing my ds going mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.......well you get the point.

lucho... luchousdiva

I want to be alone.  Heck I would just like to go to the bathroom by myself!  Even when school starts I have one little one at home.

mars33me mars33me

I had PPD real bad after the birth of my first child (and my second for that matter) and when I went to the dr he told me it was extremely important for me to get away from the baby for a little time alone... I laughed at him saying that was impossible.  He said perhaps you will take me seriously if I wrote it down so he gave me a prescription for some "Marcy (my first name) time." 

2sons... 2sons2daughters

I don't have it often enough.  I do have it occasionally so I know I should be greatful and I truly am.  Sometimes I cherish the time in the morning (or night) when they are all asleep as is DH and it is just me.  It isn't quite the same but it works for me.  I also take the opportunity to run to the grocery store or run a quick errand in the evening after DH arrives home.  It helps me tremendously just to do this occasionally.  But to have two hours, even just one, to sit, relax, read, sleep, channel surf sounds great. 

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