
onstik/iStock.com
onstik/iStock.com
When my self-image bottoms out, I get adversarial: I pit my inner self against my body as if they are two are separate entities. I deem my physical self the enemy -- a foreign, hostile combatant struggling to suffocate the true, non-corporeal me. I catalog its crimes, and read them out like a series of charges at an arraignment. Why can’t my belly firm up and shrink down? Why can’t my skin stop breaking out? Why can’t I be hairy on my head and my head alone? Why can’t my arms be slender and strong instead of meaty and strong? Why is my body DOING this to me? It’s all a plot. It’s all a cruel scheme meant to keep me from feeling beautiful and attractive and good. It is outright betrayal.
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