9 Signs It's Time to Consciously Uncouple From Your Job

woman quitting job she hates

Let's face it -- there are just some days that you definitely do NOT want to go to work. (Like, uh, the day the new Gilmore Girls eps drop on Netflix. Totally sick on that day, guys. Weird coincidence!)

But a "don't feel like working" feeling is WAY different than hatred, loathing, and resentment for everything you do to earn money. It's kind of like being in a toxic relationship -- yeah, you can suck it up for a while, sure, but eventually, that job (or boyfriend!) from hell is going to take a toll on you, to the point where not even a Gilmore Girls marathon can help. Here are the signs it's already starting to happen.

 

Image via fizkes/Shutterstock; pexels/Karolina Grabowska.STAFFAGE

  • You're angry all the time.

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    We all have bad days. But bad weeks, months, or YEARS? Sister, something has got to change. And it might very well need to be your JOB, says Jeanette Raymond, PhD, a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles. "You're forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do but can't deal with the consequences of facing it head-on," she says. "You're also angry with yourself for allowing yet another day go by without taking action."

  • Focus? What focus?

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    When you don't like something you're doing -- like your JOB -- then your focus will be minimal, says Raymond. "Focus is part of motivation and without that you can't concentrate."

     

  • You're hungry ALL the time.

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    Maybe you feel you have to stick with a job because it will rock the boat in your relationship if you quit. Maybe you have a student loan to pay off or your family depends on your paycheck. Whatever your uncomfortable truth is, you might be using food to distract yourself from acknowledging it. "Eating is a great numbing exercise," says Raymond. ("Great" does NOT mean "good to do," FYI.)

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  • You're taking risks that could get you fired.

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    Hmmm. Just took a three-hour lunch that would make Don Draper proud? Rolling into work an hour late and then leaving early? 

    "When you don't feel confident enough to walk out of a job, it's so much easier to get fired," notes Raymond. "It's a form of passive aggression so that you don't have to feel as responsible or guilty for leaving without having something else to step into." Note: This is not a healthy way to deal with your feelings. Try talking to a friend or coworker about what you can do instead.

  • You can't stop dreaming of a new job.

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    Drooling over job listings rather than Olympic swimmers? Hello, red flag! "Fantasy gives you a safe place to try out a new job or career [when] you aren't comfortable taking steps towards making it a reality," Raymond explains.

    If you’re daydreaming about making a change -- yet doing nada about it -- you may feel that you need permission or approval from someone else first.

  • You feel like crap M-F.

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    Having aches and pains on workdays -- but miraculously recovering over weekends -- is a clear sign you're done with your job, Raymond says. (Hint: The same goes for your energy levels.)

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  • You're annoyed by friends who DO like their jobs.

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    Of course, you want to be happy for loved ones who are all thumbs-up emoji about their careers. But if you're pissed about your own situation, "you'll put [their success] down to luck and having the right connections," says Raymond. That is, you'll downplay their happiness to make yourself feel better. 

  • You've become a hermit.

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    If you're avoiding social gatherings where people talk about their exciting jobs and show off their status, don't blame it on being tired or not feeling well. According to Raymond, this is another subtle sign that you hate what you do, according to Raymond, and want out NOW.

  • You've stopped caring about the appearance of your desk.

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    Who cares if there's a half-eaten candy bar melting on your keyboard? Or dust gathering on the files in your inbox? This minimal effort "sounds like the beginning of depression," says Raymond. If YOU don't find a new job ASAP, your mental health is going to force you to take days off and avoid your crappy job that way. NOT a good trade-off.

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