The Taco Cleanse: Diet Dream Come True or Just Plain Crazy?

How many times have you joked that you'll try a cleanse as soon as they invent one where you can eat tacos three times a day? Well, your wait is up, friends, and now you're committed, because the taco cleanse is here ... and it sounds delicious. Kind of.


Here's the deal: The "vegan taco scientists" from Texas (we did not make that up, swear) put you on an all-taco-all-the-time diet -- that's a homemade, vegan taco for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Right, vegan. Put down the carnitas.

You'll also be making your own tortillas and your own fillings (tequila sausage? Barbacoa mushrooms? Beer-battered portobellos? Hi, we see you. We love you). They'll be delicious, but then, you'll be eating them all day. For 30 days.

The authors of The Taco Cleanse: The Tortilla-Based Diet Proven to Change Your Life -- Wes Allison, Stephanie Bogdanich, Molly R. Frisinger, and Jessica Morris -- say that the diet "rewards your body with what it naturally craves: tortillas, refried beans, guacamole!"

Okay, sure. Fine. And if you a) feel hungry daily, b) experience emotions sometimes, c) ever lack access to eating utensils, or d) consider tortillas "edible napkins," the Taco Cleanse is right for you. That's what the book says, anyway. And these are scientists! Taco scientists!

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Most actual, M.D. scientists agree that cleanses don't do much to "detox" your body, because there aren't really any toxins in there that your kidneys and liver can't take care of.

But! This diet promises that "the spicy taco consumed prior to sleep stimulates the nocturnal imagination and has been used by taco spiritualists to induce prophetic dreams."

Can we dream this, taco spiritualists?

If you think this all sounds like a massive joke, we're with you. But those recipes do sound pretty good ... so we're in it for the vegan tacos. Like, one vegan taco. Or two. Not 90.



Image via Timolina/Shutterstock

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