Other Women Are Not Your Enemy

two women boxing
Did you know most of us ladies are locked in a freaky, mean-girl, biology- and hormone-fueled war with one another? Not just as adolescents, but as adults, too. That is, at least according to Emily Gordon's New York Times opinion piece, "Why Women Compete With Each Other." It's time to call BS once and for all on this ridiculous and widely accepted notion, because frankly, it's a little insulting.


What are we competing over, exactly? Dudes, of course. Yes, we women are so desperate to sink our nails into the primest slab of man meat that we'll scratch and claw at any chick who dares to get in our way. We just can't help ourselves.

Gordon's thinker also proposes an alternate cause of our psychotic Hunger Games mentality: We women hate ourselves so much that we don't even see other women as people, but as a reflection of our own failures and insecurities. Pretty bleak stuff.

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But here's the real deal.

The idea that we're all barely containing our aggressive urge to roll around in Jell-O over the best available men sounds more like a male fantasy than a female reality.

Most women don't spend their lives eaten up with jealousy over other women. Plenty of women are able to truly appreciate and even bask in the company and camaraderie of their homegirls.

Women everywhere -- aunties, besties, colleagues, and fellow moms -- lift one another up every single day with their laughter and knowing smiles. And when times get tough, it's women who form a circle of love and strength around one another. It's powerful and real and more meaningful than any stupid catfight.

As the mother of a 5-year-old girl, I want her to have the love and powerful support only other women can provide.

The girls who tell you that yes, in fact, your behind does look huge in those red pants. The ladies in your life close enough to lovingly remind you that your new boyfriend really isn't good enough for you, and that you are smart and should apply for that promotion. The women who hold your hand and cry with you, and cheer the loudest from the front row on your proudest day. These are the women I know and admire. And I bet you do too.

So let's refuse to participate in perpetuating this silly stereotype. Because it's simply beneath what we already know to be true: that the connection between women is more powerful than any petty, insecurity-fueled competition.


Image via Dangubic/iStock

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