There's No Reason Good Enough to Ask a Woman If She's Pregnant (VIDEO)

Carrie SaumImagine you see a woman with a belly, and you're all like, "Aw! Congrats! I'm so excited! When are you due?" only to have her give you a death stare and be like, "It's not a baby belly. I'm not pregnant." Mortifying, right? Well, the woman you just insulted probably feels even worse. How do we know? Because one of them is speaking up.


Carrie Saum, mom of a 2-year-old, blogs over at Our Stable Table and speaks on this issue with firsthand knowledge. Recently, while at the grocery store, a friendly checker took one look at Saum's belly and asked, "When's your baby due?" But alas, Saum is NOT with child.

When she explained this, instead of apologizing -- and changing the subject ASAP like any normal person would do -- the checker wouldn't let it go.

Here's how Carrie remembers the painful exchange:

"You're not? REALLY?"

"Nope. Not even a little."

"Wow! Well, I guess it's harder for us old moms to lose the baby weight."


Carrie, who is 36, deserves a medal for her poise, especially because her "squishy" belly has been mistaken for carrying a child lots of times. Like, since she was in her 20s.

"I have polycystic ovary syndrome and a tilted uterus, so I've never had a flat stomach," she tells us exclusively.

Age, weight gain, and what Carrie calls a "super sexy case of post-partum diastasis recti" have only made her pooch more prominent. (Diastasis recti is a separation of the left and right ab muscles that causes your stomach to stick out between.)

When Carrie was frisked at the airport last fall and told she had a cute bump, she was even too weary to argue. "Thanks," she lied. "Due in September."

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Carrie hasn't always been so zen. "After I got married, I struggled with my body image profoundly," she says.

Her husband found her in the bathroom one day, scrutinizing her "hideous cellulite."

"With a genuinely puzzled look, my husband said, 'What's cellulite?'" Carrie remembers. "Bless him. That's when my body image issues started to shift. My husband didn't see me as fat, and if he did, it didn't bother him. So, why should I let it bother me? I actually felt free to pursue real health after that, not just a totally unrealistic (for me) body type."

Still, she wishes people would stop jumping to conclusions about WHY she has a belly. Some women just do, okay?

To help educate us all, she's supplied a little infographic:


our stable table not pregnant graphic

Just like we wouldn't think of asking, "Are you on your period?" -- except maybe to like, a sister, who was being particularly bitchy -- we should get in the habit of getting OUT of the habit of asking if someone's with child.

How about simply asking how they are, instead?

Since Carrie first posted about what we'll call "correct belly behavior," she's been inundated with responses. Some are people who've been schooled about their insensitive questioning and are deeply apologetic. But most are women who have to deal with the same annoying questions as Carrie.

Carrie's best advice for them:

Your belly, your body, and your reproductive journey in general are nobody's business. You don't owe any explanations, and you certainly don't need to make [the person asking questions] feel better about being nosy and insensitive, even if their intentions are good. Laugh it off, tell them off when it's appropriate ... and when all else fails, make a janky YouTube video in your living room and share it with the world.

Check out Carrie's hilarious video that sums ALL of this up so beautifully.

Image courtesy of Our Stable Table

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