20 Creative Ways Women Say 'I'm on My Period'


woman talking

Saying "I'm on my period" can sound so, well, graphic, so sometimes a little humor and creativity need to come into play when announcing to the world that it's your time of the month. (What, you don't announce to the world that it's your time of the month?) We asked ladies to share the inventive phrases they've come up with for saying they're on their period, and man, they delivered some doozies. Long gone are the days of "My Aunt Flo is in town."

Here, 20 creative (and funny!) ways for saying, "I'm on my period." Enjoy!

  • 1. No circus tonight. The monkey has a nose bleed.

    2. I'm making wine and there will be no stomping of the grapes at this point.

    3. T.O.M. (time of the month) is here.

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  • 4. It's this month's moon time.

    5. The b*tch is back.

    6. The redcoats are coming.

  • 7. I'm hanging up the out-of-order sign.

    8. My uterus is trying to kill me.

    9. The oven is in cleaning mode.

  • 10. It's shark week.

    11. My girl has started her monthly job.

    12. My "Bloody Buddy" is here.

  • 13. I'm experiencing technical difficulties.

    14. My uterus ninjas are here.

    15. Riding the cotton pony.

    16. I have a visitor.

    17. The storm has made landfall.

  • 18. I'm surfing the crimson wave.

    19. Mr. T is here. (tampons)

  • 20. One woman's way of telling her husband it's that time of the month? "Congratulations! You are not a father!"