New Mom Groove

20 Creative Ways Women Say 'I'm on My Period'

secretSaying "I'm on my period" can sound so, well, graphic, so sometimes a little humor and creativity need to come into play when announcing to the world that it's your time of the month. (What, you don't announce to the world that it's your time of the month?)

We asked ladies to share the inventive phrases they've come up with for saying they're on their period, and man, they delivered some doozies. Long gone are the days of "My Aunt Flo is in town."

Here, 20 creative (and funny!) ways for saying, "I'm on my period." Enjoy!

1. No circus tonight. The monkey has a nose bleed.

2. I'm making wine and there will be no stomping of the grapes at this point.

3. T.O.M. (time of the month) is here.

4. It's this month's moon time.

5. The b*tch is back.

6. The redcoats are coming.

7. I'm hanging up the out of order sign.

8. My uterus is trying to kill me.

9. The oven is in cleaning mode.

10. It's shark week.

11. My girl has started her monthly job.

12. My "Bloody Buddy" is here.

13. I'm experiencing technical difficulties.

14. My uterus ninjas are here.

15. Riding the cotton pony.

16. I have a visitor.

17. The storm has made landfall.

18. I'm surfing the crimson wave.

19. Mr. T is here. (tampons)

20. One woman's way of telling her husband it's that time of the month? "Congratulations! You are not a father!"

What creative ways do you have for saying, "I'm on my period"?


Image via © JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis



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Rebekah C. Kazukiewicz-Blow Snyder

these are way better than the ones i know- "my friend is here"," aunty flo from red river", "ragging it" are usually ones i've heard or used myself.

Nonny... Nonny2Blaise

My niece came up with the best one I've heard yet. A male teacher was trying to tell her she couldn't go to the bathroom so she told him it was an emergency. When he asked her what was such an emergency that it couldn't wait ten minutes for class to be over, her response was " the lack of a y chromosome "

sky87 sky87

My boyfriend used to joke and say the circus is in town, so one day I got pissed and told him f*** the damn circus, more like jack the ripper... And of course it stuck.

Kmakk... Kmakksmom

My mom used to tell me to say "I'm on my dot."

Our 15 year old says "My uterus is falling out."

ceciliam ceciliam

I don't have a creative saying.

Mistr... MistressMinerva

I use to say Flo has stopped by this

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