Gas-Fighting Underwear Is Not Only Gross But Bad For Girls


bad smellI fart.

This is because I am a human being who exists on the planet. As such, tooting happens. I mean, not if we have just started dating. For those first few blissful weeks, I store up my farts and take a special bus out to a field upstate where I stand quietly expelling noxious gases for several hours. Don't ask  me where upstate, because I won't tell you. I need my privacy. 

But if you are a long-time partner, a family member, a friend, you have probably been around me when it's happened. I'm not, admittedly a 12-year old boy about it. I have a certain base-line level of shame, after all. But, and this is key, I'm not going to let my shame prevent me from living a happy life, nor am I going to let it to do me physical harm. If I held in my farts? That's exactly what would happen.

More from The Stir: Subtle Butt: These Fart Pads Claim to Keep You Smelling as Good as You Look! (VIDEO)

As much as it might seem otherwise, I'm not going to write an ode to the gas we pass. I just want to make sure we're on the same page -- gas happens. That's why I find this "fart filtering underwear" that apparently neutralizes the smell of gas now being sold online so ridiculous. I think it's deplorable to mine a consumer's insecurities just to make a tidy profit.

I think it's doubly so when the consumer of whom speak is a woman. Because I guarantee you, there are more women than there are men buying these under garments. That's because as ladies we're made to feel shame almost constantly, especially when it comes to advertising. Think of all the lotions, potions, and products you've purchased because you were worried about how you looked or smelled?

While I can appreciate wanting to be sensitive to the noses of those around you, I think this product is particularly pernicious. I do wear deodorant, after all. But you won't find me knocking folks over to buy those vagina washes currently being sold. You know, because of how your girl-parts need to not smell like girl-parts but rather, daisies? Barf. This is poo-pourri all over again, and I want no part of it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a special chartered bus headed upstate to catch. 

Would you ever buy fart-filtering underwear?


Image via Ocean/Corbis

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kckcm2 kckcm2

No honestly I wouldn't. first and foremost because it sounds toomuch like a diaper. Second because it happenns, so what?

Coles... Coles_mom

I wouldn't buy them personally, but I've had two friends with ibs (irritable bowel syndrome) and I can see them needing something like this. Not all the time, but maybe in a professional situation or when you'll be traveling somewhere in a car with your boss...which one of these guys did a lot.

SaphireH SaphireH

im with the author, i only fart around specific people like my husband, kids and family otherwise i do my best not to and even then with my husband it took a bit before i was comfortable farting around him, and with his guy friends i wont fart around them even though none of them have an issue farting around me. im just embarrassed by it and i dont know why

manda... mandaschelle

I would buy them.

For my husband.

It's enough to make you pass out sometimes.

theba... thebatesfamily

  I think it is a great idea for a gassy lady in a new relationship. How many times has a great date turned difficult because you're so interested in who they are and what they say but you have gas? Maybe the gas is from nerves or the food you just ate. Until that person becomes your long term partner most of us want to keep those habits to ourselves. I know I have had to apologize to my husband before and wanted to run out of a room because of how bad my gas smells. But now that he has already bought the cow, he is getting all that methane I produce now too. LOL

 Just as a side note. When I am pregnant, such as now, I may also consider them. I am often hit with merciless gas pains and could not hold it to save my life. To spare others and myself a lot of pain, I might wear one for a special occasion! Im totally fine with crop dusting the aisles at walmart, but not the aisles at a wedding!

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