Recently, I told you about the new trend of consuming a live tapeworm in order to lose weight. I thought that was about as gross as it could get but I was wrong. A recent study shows a correlation between how fat we are and the billions of bacteria living in our intestines. Basically, thin people have special poop that can now be transplanted into fat folks. Seriously. I kid you not.
Scientists took pairs of human twins, one who was obese and the other thin, and transplanted some of the intestinal bacteria into young mice that had been raised microbe-free. Both mice were fed the exact same diet. The mice with the obese twin's bacteria got fat while the mice with the skinny twin's bacteria remained thin. When the mice were exposed to each other's bacteria, the obese mice lost weight but the thin mice did not gain any weight. Awesome, right?
Finding out that intestinal bacteria can cause obesity could lead to new treatments for curing obesity. It’s like finding the fountain of youth for thinness and the fountain was full of shit. Most of us don’t generally eat each other’s poop like mice do, so a fecal transplant may be in order to transfer thin people’s bacteria into fat people. Stop. Let that sink in.
These transplants already exist to treat persistent acute intestinal infections so that’s not new science. But I’ve got to say, as a person who would do just about anything to lose weight, I am not really down with the thought of getting some skinny person's fecal bacteria put into my fat intestines. It’s just really, really gross. Maybe if I could just get past the whole your bacteria in my intestines thing, it wouldn't have such an ick factor.
Luckily researchers say there is a less disgusting alternative: tailoring combinations of bacteria to suit patients, growing the bacteria in a lab, and packaging them into pills. Much better. Researchers also say that transplants could result in personality changes. I’m thinking a world full of skinny mean girls may not be what the world needs. Of course, I’m not sure too many people will be running to their doctors begging for a skinny girl fecal transplant. It just doesn't have the same joie de vivre as a skinny girl cocktail but I could be wrong.
Would you get skinny people feces transplanted into your intestines if it meant you could lose all the weight?