Fans were shocked when Bachelor and Bachelor Pad star Gia Allemand took her own life this week. But friends and family were even more shocked and devastated, since many are saying that there were no "signs" that Gia was thinking of killing herself. Good friend Ali Fedotowsky, who met Gia on The Bachelor, says that she just had dinner with Gia last week and that while Gia was struggling with some issues that Ali won't reveal, she says that there was no evidence that her friend was even considering such a tragic act.
Ali told E! News, where she has just started a job as a correspondent:
It's hard to see that she wanted to cut [her life] short because she was talking about that she wanted to work with animals, that she really loved that, how she could take that volunteering work and make it a job, that she loved people and wanted to work with people.
Friend Loredana Ferriolo, who is famous for writing a book about her affair with Tiger Woods, also said she saw no signs, other than that Gia seemed to be crying when she spoke to her the night before Gia killed herself. Loredana told the New York Daily News:
Either she was crying or she had a cold. I asked her and she paused and said, 'Yeah, I have a cold.' I thought she was crying. But she insisted it was a cold. I was with her a week before and everything was fine.
The truth is, it can sometimes be impossible to know that someone is planning suicide. While there are some basic signs, such as talking about suicide, giving away possessions, or showing signs of deep depression, there can also be no big signs at all. People often go through times of struggle and upheaval -- that is part of life. But unless someone comes out and says they want to kill themselves, you can't really read anyone else's mind.
Friends and family feel horrible that they didn't see it coming. Can you ever really know? What can you do if you suspect? Or even if you don't suspect but feel your loved one is going through a tough time?
Helpguide.org says that some suicide signs can be very subtle. One predictor can be someone talking about feeling "hopeless," or having a bleak future, or having "nothing to look forward to." A suicidal person may also have dramatic mood swings, and lose interest in activities he or she once enjoyed, or even day-to-day activities. There can also be changes in sleeping or eating patterns.
It doesn't sound like Gia had those, but the people who were in the best position to know, like her boyfriend, NBA star Ryan Anderson, shouldn't blame themselves if they didn't know what was coming. No one ever really knows the true extent of the demons someone else is fighting. As Ali says about her good friend:
If she had said something to any one of us, we would have been there.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please call a suicide prevention hotline. There are always people who want to talk to you and help you. Please reach out to your friends. They want to help. You can reach help at: 1-800-273-TALK.
Don't give up!
Have you or a friend ever thought about suicide?
Image via E! News