The Thing I Regret Most About My Past -- Before I Was a Mom

It's not the destination but the journeyI skipped two grades as a child, and so for most of my life, I was always much younger than everyone else. So I always felt like I had to prove myself. And play "catch-up" to all the older kids.

Sadly, by forcing myself to charge ahead, I missed a lot in the process. And quite often, I wish I had just taken my time and enjoyed life before it passed me by in a blur.

I'm not quite sure why I rushed through everything, from starting college early to finishing college early, taking a full load of classes straight through every summer.

Then I started my internship a few weeks after I graduated, found a job before I was done, and then worked up through leaving for graduate school, which I finished quickly as well.

On one hand, I feel so fortunate to have been afforded so many opportunities as a young person, which led to much professional success.

But on the other, I look back now and wish I had taken my time a bit more. And had more fun.

Okay, A LOT more fun.

I certainly had my fair share of good times, in between classes and working and studying and doing all those things I was doing to try to finish everything early.

There were no spring break trips, however. No long summers spent traipsing through Europe, or working at the local pool as a lifeguard (the cushy, coveted job of my youth).

No "remember that one time, at band camp ..." stories to tell.

And now that summers are just like any other season, I long for the days when I could have partied a little harder, enjoyed myself a little more, and well, lived a little.

I can't rewind my life and add in moments of spontaneity or even a bit of reckless abandon, as much as I'd like to have those memories interspersed with the ones where my head is stuck in a book or taking a test.

But I can live that way now, even in the confines of my life as a working mom to four children. I could live in the past or take the lessons I've learned and apply them to my life as it is.

And I can encourage my children, within reason, to enjoy their lives. To slow down and take in their surroundings. To appreciate the journey along with the destination -- safely and wisely, of course. Here's hoping I don't eat my words later on when my children, all under 9, are teenagers.

Yes, I may be nearing 40, but there's still lots of fun to be had. Perhaps not as spontaneous or as reckless as I imagine I could have been long ago, but fun nonetheless.

Do you regret missing out on anything from your past?


Image via despedidairene/Flickr

summer break, kid health, mom secrets


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Nurse... Nursekelly1980

I wish I had gone away to college. it always seemed like so much fun. :)

linzemae linzemae

I regret not doing better in school.

Coles... Coles_mom

I spent my entire 20s in a fertility clinic hopelessly trying to have a baby. Ended up divorced and no kids. Got remarried and gave up on kids. Had three in 6 years. Now I'm almost 40 and I spent my entire 20s depressed and disappointed. I spent my 30s raising kids and have an 11 month old....I won't be able to be reckless until I'm almost 60. I hate myself fir literally taking away the best decade of my life and throwing it away on literally nothing. I didn't travel. I lost my husband. Didn't bother with a career...I could keep going.

Delgado Lillian

LOL yeah this is bull. YOU letting your children enjoy life? won't happen. It's in your list of 7 things you hate OTHER people doing. You should read the comments on your other blog they are so negative. You are a disgrace. Hilarious your a author of a "sex book" after you had your children. You are a piece of work and a sad sad person. How can you judge people, I bet people were happy when you got out of college because you more than likely judged everyone there without know. Stop sticking your nose in other peoples lives and concentrate on yourself you lush.

Truth... Trutherford85

Wow, 90% of this article was you "showing off" about how you "excelled" at school, etc etc. good for you, would you like me to bow down to you? After reading your other article about 7 things you judge people on vacation for, reading this article gave me a good chuckle. Because obviously you DONT let your kids live life & "appreciate the journey & the destination, safely & wisely of course" because your kids obviously don't know the fun of being allowed to eat junk food, stay up late, & just be plain silly while on VACATION! You sound far too uptight, like I said in your last article pull the stick out your bum & lighten up! NOBODY is perfect, you damn sure aren't at times I can guarantee that, cuz none of us are, so quit acting like it! But why do you take it upon yourself to judge OTHERS whom you don't even know?!

doodledo doodledo

No real regrets here. I soent my 20's and 30's having fun, being young, working, , travelling and experiencing life. Got married in my late 30's , had a baby, and now get to raise my awesome little dude. We have the money and time to do it the way we wsnt to and most days I feel so lucky and blessed and can't believe my life is so awesome, seeing as I had a terrible childhood mysrlf and had a lot of tragic events to overcome. Hope things start looking up for you and you manage to savor what your life has to offer. It is what you make of it. Don't choose to be miserable.

Enter... EnterAtOwnRisk

Wow, Delgado Lillian and Trutherford85, apparently you both need a vacation. Your venom towards the author is disgusting and reeks of jealousy. I doubt for a second she cares one bit about your opinion.  The author is not showing off that she excelled at school. She wrote about her particular experience and what she feels she missed out on at the time. Good grief, your both ridiculous.



CrazyAZ CrazyAZ

I spent my teens raving (read: nearly out of comtrol partying) and having a professional singing career. Married with kids while working and going to college through my twenties. Now I'm 31 and only regret not waiting a year or two to have our first. My husband was only 19 when we became parents and even though we love our life I think he would've loved doing the young twenties newlywed thing (like traveling, buying a house, drinking too much etc).

Not much of a regret I suppose. I'm really looking forward to our forties!

Terri Randall

I regret nothing. I had my daughter at the age of 23 and I love being a mother. I don't even regret having her with her father even though he is a lying cheating jerk we created the most beautiful baby girl ever together and if I were to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing except for maybe moving from Tampa back to Orlando. Every decision we make shapes who we are and I must say I am a much better person now that my daughter is here and my husband isn't

Nichole Neathery

My only regret is not getting out of this black hole of a town we live in. Even with highschool diploma and college under my belt I can't find a decent job. I'm. Currently a Sonic carhop(go me!) And hate it. This town literally sucks the life out of you sometimes, but fiance doesn't want to move A) to a bigger town B) farther away from family. I understand the family thing, I do, but this town has nothing to offer our family, at all. Somethings GOTTA give... but that's about it. I'm young yes, but I'm planning on having only one in my lifetime, so ill get to enjoy my older years. I feel the younger years are too overrated. I mean who the hell actually LIKES puking the day after a totally awesome party? Not me!

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