Here’s What a Juice Cleanse Diet REALLY Does to You (It Isn’t Pretty!)

juice cleansI try to lead a healthy lifestyle. "Try" being the operative word. I exercise. I eat right ... well, most of the time. I just can't seem to resist pizza day at work or the occasional burger from Shake Shack (arguably the best burger joint in New York City). Problem is, all those indulgences have left me feeling run down, bloated, and have wreaked havoc on my high blood pressure (a lingering vestige of preeclampsia during pregnancy).

So what's a busy mom to do? Oh, I know, deny myself any and all food. But not in the model-munching-on-tissue-paper-to-stay-skinny-for-the-catwalk kind of way (yes, they do that!). I opted for a juice cleanse. I wanted to detox. Rid my system of all those impurities and preservatives caked in every delicious morsel of yummy treats like microwave popcorn (my daily 4 p.m. snack). So I signed up for a four-day fast from American Yogini, which provided me six juices per day. Here is my detox diet survival story.

Thursday, May 9

8:45 a.m.: Crack open first juice. A delicious concoction with beets, celery, apple, lime, ginger. I am giddily excited as I drop my son off at pre-school. Just think, in four days, I will be a totally new, healthier person! Wait, is that Starbucks I smell.

10:45: Still nursing juice, already thinking about food. Obsessively thinking about food. Getting more agitated with every sip.

11:30: I'm already planning to cheat. Go to American Yogini website and look for "Cheat Foods" section. Yes!!! I can have lettuce, tomatoes, and half an avocado.

1:30 p.m.: After wolfing down said salad, I try not to feel guilty for barely lasting four hours. It's the first day after all.

3:30: Ugh. Caffeine withdrawal headache. Super tired as I sit through meeting. Feel like taking a nap under the table. Maybe no one will notice. Hunger is making time go SO SLOW!

4:00: Going head to head with pregnant coworker for most bathroom trips in a day!

7:00: Get home and can't wait to indulge in another cheat food -- quinoa. A quarter cup tastes better than filet mignon at this point. Has it really only been one day 12 hours on this fast? It's official -- I would never survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

11:30: Nurse one last juice and brush teeth, swallow toothpaste on purpose, and boy, Crest never tasted so good.

Friday, May 10

8:00 a.m.: No work today, which is a good thing since I can barely get out of bed. SOOOOO tired but MUST. DO. SCHOOL. DROP-OFF.

9:00: Feel wine-sleepy, like I've been downing chardonnay. Get back into bed.

11:30: Nanny says she's glad it's the weekend because she didn’t want be around when I turned into a crazed, cranky, hungry woman ... Too late.

12:00 p.m.: Co-chairing my son's school auction that night, so must leave to prep venue. I won't be back home until late so I pack my juices and a little quinoa along with a change of clothes for the event.

4:30: Damn! The caterers arrive and that Mediterranean buffet smells like ambrosia from the Gods!

12:00: Somehow make it through day, starving, yet noticeably less bloated and have recouped some energy. Check blood pressure and lowest it's been in five years without medication! Woohoo!

Saturday, May 11

8:00 a.m.: Best hubby ever lets me sleep in!

9:00: Ugh, is that coffee I smell. My son gives me a hug and my eyes lock on that strip of bacon he has clutched in one hand.

10:00: Sipping juice while daydreaming of curry lamb and rice, though feeling of hunger not as severe as before. Keeping busy so as not to be tempted by the food that seems to be at every turn. Damn you pretzel cart man!

8:00 p.m.: Day almost done. On juice #5 and I feel good. I feel healthy.

Sunday, May 12

8:00 a.m.: Rarely do I wake up energized, but today I feel like I could climb Everest. Okay, maybe not Everest. But could definitely a few flights of stairs.

9:00: Son is eating waffles and turkey bacon. Husband is knocking back a white chocolate latte. Not even tempted as I sip away.

11:00: Sneak a few swigs of juice during communion at church to calm my grumbling tummy.

12:30 p.m.: Mother's Day brunch! I thought I could get by with ordering a simple salad but one look at my son's bacon and I think I better order something before I go crazy and snatch the food right off his plate. My fast is supposed to go until end of day, but I indulge in an egg white omelette and mixed greens. C'mon, it's Mother's Day!!!

7:00: I have one last juice for dinner. Still feel proud, even through I ate a chewable meal earlier. I have done my body a great service. The proof: my BP is still normal and I haven't felt this good in years!

 

* I chose to do this particular juice cleanse brand on my own without any solicitation from the company. If you are interested in trying one yourself, there are many to choose from.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse? What was your experience like?

 

Image via American Yogini

diets, eating habits, healthy habits