Everyone told me weight would just magically fall off as I got closer to my wedding day, because when you're stressed, "that's just what happens." Um, not so much. It's more like the reverse for me, thanks to hormones, so I've just been hoping my hard workouts provide stress relief (sounds pretty counterintuitive, huh?). But for many women, stress and difficult emotions often lead to involuntary weight loss. Even if they're going through the roughest times of their lives, they might look thinner than ever, and then we commend them. Ridic!
Eva Longoria spoke with Dr. Oz about the months following her divorce from Tony Parker, and she said it was "the time I got the most compliments, because I was so skinny. I was not eating. I was depressed. I was sad. My diet was coffee." Grrrreat.
People kept saying, "You look amazing. Divorce agrees with you." And I was like, "I don't feel good. I have no energy." I didn't know I was depressed. I mean, I knew it was a sad moment in my life, but I wouldn't categorize myself as depressed.
Ugh, that is so sad! And it strikes me as totally twisted that we praise people for looking "amazing" even if their low weight is the result not of a healthy diet and exercise, but because they're actually 180 degrees from vital or happy. Like, hey, that's okay, being sick or depressed is just fiiine as long as you're "SKINNY!" Give me a break.
We should be able to see past what's on the surface and actually see that someone is NOT well. That they're struggling. Skinny doesn't always mean healthy, beautiful, well. That's not exactly a newsflash. But maybe it is that skinny for the wrong reasons shouldn't earn compliments. Then again, Eva lives in Hollywood, and many people out there have a hard time seeing past anything but rich and skinny. It's sick.
Eva notes that she did feel sick, so she went to her doctor for some blood work. She remembered:
I was just depleted of every vitamin. He said it's as if somebody took a straw and sucked everything out of your body. "You don't have any iron and your liver's overacting." It was like all these things were physically wrong with my body, so I had to saturate with vitamins and kind of get back on this track.
Which meant eating! But healthier. No sugar, which can actually contribute to depression because it creates those blood sugar highs and lows. Eva explains:
For about three months, I did a really strict no sugar diet, and I had more energy than I've ever had. My palate was different. Things tasted better.
Totally know what she means, and it's so awesome to hear she was able to turn things around like this. And hopefully, she's gotten even more positive reinforcement for these healthier behaviors than for subsisting on coffee and wasting away.
Does it drive you crazy that we compliment "skinny" even if it's the result of sickness or depression or stress?
Image via watchwithkristin/Wikimedia