Looking Skinny on Your Wedding Day Isn't Worth Making Yourself Sick

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woman getting fit for wedding gownWith just a matter of a couple of weeks before the Big Day, I've come to realize there are two wacky behaviors people assume all brides-to-be are engaging in. The top two: Stressing out about minor details that have yet to come together and starving herself. While I'm totally guilty of the first, the second blows my mind. Why do we almost assume that someone getting married is on an extreme crash diet? And act like that's just a normal part of planning? It's NOT.

Along with all things wedding mania, from sweating over picking the perfect "YES!" dress to having the perfect DIY touches to choosing a photographic theme worthy of Pinterest, has come brideorexia. It's almost like someone snuck it onto that Knot checklist of pre-wedding to-dos: "Finalize vendor payments, stop eating, proofread programs ..." What the heck!? I honestly cannot think of a more dangerous way of preparing for your wedding day.

Women have almost passed out at their cocktail hour, because they weren't eating enough in an effort to fit into their dress. Others subsist on juice or diet shakes for weeks before the wedding, so they can appear slimmer as they walk down the aisle. And it's NOT okay.

Why is it that we're supposed to take such meticulous care of all these minute details in the weeks and months leading up to the wedding, but actually taking care of ourselves is an acceptable thing to let fall by the wayside as the Big Day looms closer? Or worse yet, we've talked ourselves into the idea that dangerous last-minute crash dieting is a way to take care of ourselves. Talk about twisted!

Look, I get it. The Wedding Industrial Complex drives this idea of perfection that perpetuates and conditions us to accept extremes. To go to great lengths to be the best-looking bride we can possibly be. I'm not saying we shouldn't still attempt to do that. But there's a better way than bringing your blood sugar to the brink of a crisis.

More from The Stir: How I Stopped Getting Weighed Down by the Scale

How about hitting the gym as hard as you can? Taking an extra spinning class, trying something you never got to squeeze into your pre-wedding workout regimen. And being extra sure to fuel those workouts by eating clean, whole foods, veggies galore, lean protein, and drinking lots of bloat-busting water. In other words, treating your body well, so you can be looking and feeling your best instead of showing up at the altar a stressed-out, sick, dizzy, not to mention hungry as hell mess. Because no matter what we're told or tell ourselves, that's never a good look for a bride. 

Do you agree there's a weird acceptance of brideorexia? What was your diet/fitness like in the weeks leading up to your wedding?


weight loss, eating healthy, eating disorders


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lalab... lalaboosh

I was starving myself, but it was a symptom of my depression, not a weight loss attempt. :( I wore a simple wrap style dress, so I wasn't worried. My sister's wedding was a different story! Lol! She had a toddler when she married and so she had been breastfeeding and losing weight slowly while planning her wedding. Her gown barely fit, good thing it laced up instead of zipping or buttoning. My bridesmaid dress though... gorgeous dress, but a fitting nightmare! It was very form fitting with an 'invisible' zipper. We ordered it late and found that it was a size or two too small a week before the wedding! Good thing I was living with a hippy earth health goddess who put me on a cleanse (I actually got to eat a lot on this diet, too!) and got me into the dress in time. Too bad we'd ready broken the zipper in a panic! Oh jeeze!

lalab... lalaboosh

*already, not ready

tuffy... tuffymama

If people were as concerned about the MARRIAGE as much as they are about the WEDDING, maybe the divorce rate would be lower. Brideorexia is another name for immaturity, IMO. Worrying more about your appearance for the wedding than about the commitment you are making, and presenting a theater performance in costume instead of showing the real face of the relationship and yourself for your family and friends, speak volumes about the real nature and purpose of the wedding. I've seen it time and time again, both as a guest and as a caterer. The fanfare and theatrical performances rarely produce marriages that last.

tuffy... tuffymama

Lala, that sounds like a huge PITA. But it turned out okay...?

lalab... lalaboosh

Yeah, I got stitched into the dress and we covered the damage with a sash. I couldn't go pee, though. It was a very dramatic scene at the end of the night: me crying face down on the bed while my boyfriend (now husband) cut my dress off with a kitchen knife! Lol! I had to pee that bad!

Melan... MelanieJK

Try looking at an uber happy person with a big radiant smile on their face without feeling happy and smiling in return.    It doesn't matter what their weight is.   

People might notice your weight but they'll remember how happy and radiant you look.     Much of the weight you lose crash dieting is water weight.     The greatest threat to looking radiant is dehydration and not feeling your best.     

Developing a healthy lifestyle should be on all of our life todo lists but trying to check that off as part of  your wedding plans sounds as ridiculous as crash dieting.    Get the dress of your dreams in a size that fits and slap on a smile and you're set.  

hello... hellokd87

Maybe since i already teach Zumba 4x's a week & have a semi healthy diet i don't feel compelled to lost a dramatic amount of weight. I'm getting married in November so I still have time. As opposed to what someone said about putting as much effort into the marriage as people do into the wedding I agree but disagree as well. I agree because it's all about the biggest diamond on her finger (I have a james avery band as an engagement ring & I wouldnt have it any other way; it says "hope, faith, love" which is the foundation of our relationship) and seeing how much money you can shell out. My look for the wedding is more of a pageant look for MYSELF. But I see it as my chance to doll up without reservation. My fiancee jokes that I'm going to look more like Miss Universe than a bride but in reality, he makes me feel like a queen so why can't I show it through my bridal look??

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