Drew Barrymore Says She Doesn't 'Have It All' -- Because No Woman Can

Rant 6

Drew BarrymoreDrew Barrymore has been a household name for just about as long as I can remember (we were the same age when ET came out!). A successful actress, filmmaker, and businesswoman (add wine and makeup to her list of endeavors), she's got money, fame, and fortune, and now, a new baby.

But there's something the new mom says she doesn't have. Barrymore says she doesn't have "it all" -- and neither do any other women.

It's an endless debate right now, it seems: Do we as women just need to listen to Sheryl Sandburg and "lean in" -- or is having it all a false ideal of something that is simply not possible? Feeling like we can't truly have it all is something most moms can relate to ... but maybe what we need to do is redefine what we mean by "all." Because, honestly, what else IS there?

When it comes to the question of whether Drew Barrymore has it all, she says, "I can’t and I don’t." Barrymore's daughter is only 6 months old, which means she's had to make some life choices that put her baby first:

I can’t direct right now because I would miss out on my daughter. It was heartbreaking to let it go, but it was a clear choice ... It sucks when you’ve worked really hard for certain things and you have to give them up because you know that you’re going to miss out on your child’s upbringing, or you realize that your relationship has suffered.

It does indeed suck -- but does that mean Barrymore really doesn't have everything? Is she making these sacrifices forever? Won't there be more opportunities, and doesn't she have a great reason to make the choices she's making? When we talk about having it all, aren't we really talking about being able to have both a family and a fulfilling career -- and the ability to balance our lives so our relationships aren't neglected and we have at least a little bit of free time for ourselves?

Even with the resources at her disposal, Barrymore still has to give some things up and turn down career opportunities in the interest of being there for her family. I feel some of the same pressure myself -- this is the time when I could be really furthering my own career, but I want to be here for my daughter, so I balance and juggle, accept some offers and turn down others. Though I know there's more I could be doing to get ahead, I'm OK with that, even if it means in the long run I don't get as "far" as I might have if I made my life all about work. I'm still doing something I love doing, but in such a way that I don't feel like I'm missing out on these precious, fleeting moments of raising my little girl.

Having the option to create a flexible career, to earn money, and to do work that's meaningful to me, all while making my family my number one priority, well, that's what's important to me. It's my professional life that gets redefined always, that takes a back burner every time when it comes to a conflict between work and family. But I'm glad to be able to make that choice. It might not sound like I truly have it all -- but to me, it's what it's all about.

Do you feel like you can have it all?

 

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zandh... zandhmom2

It's a total lie to say women can "have it all".  If you stay home while raising your children, you miss out of being independent and in turn put your finical security in someone elses hands who may or may not be there throughout your whole life and if you work while raising your children, you miss out of so many important things in your kids lives.  I think the only time that you can almost have it all is after your children are raised and out on their own.  Hopefully, if you were a stay at home mom, your marriage is still intact (most marriages and/or relationship won't be )and you won't have to worry about starting a new career path at point of your life.

Coles... Coles_mom

I have a sister in law who "has everything" and it makes me sick. I'm so jealous of her I can't stand it. She was given her family's business about 10 years ago, but hasn't worked a day in her life. She has people hired to manage and run her business...and she just brings in a big-ass paycheck. She has several luxury vehicles, as does her husband and kids. He husband also has a ridiculously high paying job, they own one of the best homes in town and have a housekeeper. She's at home with her kids (again, while bring in monthly what most people make in a year)...takes long vacations...and can volunteer and hit the gym daily. Oh...and she's the worlds biggest bitch.

LoveM... LoveMyViolet

Coles_mom I can guarntee you your SIL does not have everything. Especially if according to you, she is the world's biggest bitch. There is something in life she is missing, you just might not see what it is ;)

redK8... redK8blueSt8

"When we talk about having it all, aren't we really talking about being able to have both a family and a fulfilling career -- and the ability to balance our lives so our relationships aren't neglected and we have at least a little bit of free time for ourselves?"


Lol, that is optimistic to the point of foolishness. Of course we can't "have it all"!! At least we can't have it all all at the same time. There are only so many hours in a day. You can't be in two places at once. Choices have to be made.

Coles... Coles_mom

Thank lovesmyviolet. :) She just drives me up a wall because I work my tail off daily with three kids and can't even make ends meet, but she literally does nothing except what she wants and looks perfect and has honestly never had to worry about anything financial. I seriously don't even know how I'm keeping my water turned on this month. And she's a bitch to me because I'm loser trash (yes, she's said that)....but of course she always has her entourage of friends. Again...just jealous.

nonmember avatar kaerae

@Cole's mom-I have to agree with lovesmyviolet, happy people aren't chronically bitchy, though I totally understand her pissing you off. What she dosn't have, that you do, is the ability to teach your kids through example to work hard and earn what they want instead of having it handed to them, and when your kids grow up, they will realize how hard you worked to care for them and be proud of you, and hers will only want to know how much their inheritence is!

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