I love my bed. I do. But over the last couple months we've had a serious love-hate relationship. Between my finances, my personal life, and a very unwelcomed four-legged visitor in our apartment (Effin' New York City) -- I've had difficult time sleeping through the night, to say the least.
There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to sleep when you simply cannot. In all honesty -- if you approached me a few days ago I wouldn't have been able to tell you the last time I went through an entire evening without waking up. And not just for a few minutes, either. For an hour, at least. Sometimes two. Sometimes even longer. Laying there, tossing and turning. ANGRY. Eyes closed. Open. Closed. Open. Tear-filled. Furious for allowing these anxieties to disrupt my sleeping pattern.
Until two nights ago.
Before two nights ago, I had tried everything I could without resorting to medicine. Counting sheep (where are these sheep supposed to come from, by the way?) and thinking of all of the good things that happened to me that day -- for starters. I tried picking up a book and reading, which only made me realize how much I DON'T read anymore and my drastic need for new literature on my IKEA bookshelf. Drinking milk. Putting on an eye mask. Washing my face with warm water. Taking a full shower at 3 a.m.
I had become a mad woman. Angry at the world, unsure if I actually slept between the hours of 2 a.m. and 6 a.m., confused in the haziness of my sheets and subconscious. It was affecting how I interacted with people everywhere. My coworkers, most difficultly -- the people I love, and heck I even felt bad for my Starbucks barista. I got to a point where I was so consumed with the thought of having a sleeping problem that THAT worsened my sleeping problem.
So I finally did it. I bought a sleep aid.
I opted for my local pharmacy's generic of ZzZQuil simply because it was cheaper. As much as my mom the nurse tells me it's non-habit forming (It's not, it's only 50mg of diphenhydramine) it made me concerned. A girlfriend of mine who took the sleep aid said that after doing so, she would sleep for 12 hours and wake up groggy. But at that point, I felt like I just had nothing to lose anymore.
That was Wednesday night. I woke up Thursday morning elated. I woke up Thursday morning for the first time in at least a month sleeping for the entire night. Have my other problems gone away? Well, we've called in an exterminator! And now, I can focus my well-rested energy on trying to make the others better by being a better me. How long will I take the pills? Who knows. I do know this -- my barista smiled seeing me this morning.
Have you ever delt with a sleeping problem? Did it make you as frustrated as me?
Image via michale/ Flickr