Brandi Glanville Says Kyle Richards Was 'Happy' to See Kim Fail at Sobriety -- Could She Be Right?

It's never a good idea to tell someone that you feel like that person hopes that her sister fails at her sobriety. It's especially not a good idea when you're Brandi Glanville and the person you say that to is Kyle Richards and the sister is Kim Richards. Though maybe it is a good idea for drama and ratings. Brandi is taking a lot of flack for telling Kyle at the reunion about Kim's efforts to keep sober, "I almost feel like it would make [Kyle] happy if she failed." OUCH! Kyle, naturally, went off on her. But did Brandi actually have a good point?

Brandi may have been picking up on something that Kyle wasn't even quite aware of: And that is the complex role of the codependent.

The codependent can genuinely want the alcoholic or addict to clean up. But the codependent is also completely entrenched in the roles of caregiver, support system, cheerleader, rescuer, and "one who knows best." It can be really difficult to give up those roles.

When Brandi launched her harsh assessment, Kyle cried and was outraged. She said, "I spent every f**king night ... saying a prayer to God to keep my sister sober." I have no doubt she did.

But the codependent also has developed a sense of self around her role as rescuer and caregiver. Kyle has been Kim's shoulder to cry on for so long, she may not even realize she's come to depend on that feeling of being needed. So whenever she expresses doubts about Kim's ability to get sober, she could be subtly clinging to her own identity as the "strong" and "good" sister. Kim's sobriety would force her to reconsider and redefine who she is as a person -- which can be scary.

Additionally, codependents are often so disillusioned with the addict's many failed attempts to get clean, that cynicism sets in as a self-defense mechanism. It's easier to say, "Yeah, yeah, suuure you'll do it this time," while keeping your expectations low than to truly give unconditional support, because you've been let down so many times before.

All of this Brandi could have sensed in Kyle's words and behavior. When she said, "I'm not trying to hurt you, I’m saying that is what comes across to me," she could be telling the truth. She definitely shouldn't have used the word "happy." No one is happy to see a loved one slowly destroy herself. But it's possible that Kyle has conflicted feelings about the whole thing and she's not even fully aware of it -- but Brandi picked up on it. Orrrr Brandi could have just been being bitchy. There's always that.

Do you think Brandi was totally off-base? Do you know any codependents?



Image via Bravo

alcohol, celebrities, real housewives, reality tv

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nonmember avatar Kimberly

I think Brandi is very honest and a refreshing addition to the show. Sometimes the truth hurts

nonmember avatar jake

kyle has traking a huge beating in all the major blogs this season. but this? say what you will about her but i truly believe the sisters really care about each other.

nonmember avatar Daiquiri

Brandi is an instigator. She likes to stir up trouble even when there isn't any. She needs to go!!!

nonmember avatar Denise Johnston

I think Brandy Glanville is the wicked witch! She has no class and what's so refreshing about a grown woman using the F word every 5 minutes? She says at the shows beginning every week that money doesn't buy you class it just buys you money. She has neither!!!

nonmember avatar Diane

Brandi may not have put it as delicately as people would have liked but Honest is Brandi's strong suit and I think she is right. If you look at Kyle actions toward Kim...not helpful always insinuating that Kim is on something. Why can't she be happy for her that she has made it this far, be her cheerleader not her mother sitting in the corner waiting for her to screw up. I think she would be happy too just to say I told you so. Kim should distance herself from Kyle for sure

Peggy Titchenell

I think Brandy is so unhappy that the only thing that makes her happy is to cause drama. She needs to get a life and quit stirring up problems where ther are none but in her evil hateful little mind. Please get rid of her.

nonmember avatar Patsy Aebischer

Ask Brandi's friend, whom by the way was on Dr. Drew Celebity Rehab as. Counselor, she is totally co dependent! Did she attend al anon. Or Betty ford for being co dependency. If she did why has that not been discussed. She makes little smirks and synd remarks and comes across as "here we go again" she is totally playing the, " I am always here and made pro

Uses to mom I would take care if Kym. Get off it Kyle! You need some help!

nonmember avatar janet cline

I think you hit it on the head w/ co-dependency. As a person in recovery myself, I see it clearly when Kyle stated, "I thought everything would be fine when Kim got out of rehab." Well, your not fine. You're going to face one of the hardest years of your life. You have to learn how to live, feel your feelings, & deal with problems without "numbing" yourself. The alcoholic isn't the only 1 who needs to change either! In the family, EVERYONE needs to adjust their own behaviour & re-define their roles. I don't think Kyle really wants Kim to fail, she's just got her nose out of joint because Kim can take care of herself now. Kim, on the other hand, really needs to lose her resentments, find a good sponsor & go to AA meetings or she won't be sober for long. Brandi may be better informed on sobriety because of her friendship with Jennifer. Kyle just really needs to pull her smug, self-centered, gossipy head out of her butt & take a REAL LONG look at herself. She is really not very nice this year, & seriously, if I have to watch her flip her hair around much longer....I may loose my mind.

Wendy Hannett

Why won't you let me see these videos? Yes, I live outside the U.S. but I have seen every episode of Season 3 and the first 2 reunion shows.Anyone who wants to see it before it's shown in their own country only has to download it. What could be simpler? So there's really little point hiding these little trailers/spoilers from us.

Penny Reeder Thomas

I don't think Brandi is smart enough to know if someone is co dependent.  She does like to stir things up and when she planted the seed in Kim's mind Brandi gave that little smile that says "F&%# You".  I like drama as much as the rest of you, but PLEASE Bravo get rid of Brandi.

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