7 Reasons Adult Children Should Not Take Handouts From Their Parents

There is a time and place for parents to buy things for their children and help them financially. But that time and place has a different cut-off for everyone.

For some, it's the age of marriage. For others, it's 18, period, end of story. For others, it's much murkier. They have parents who continue to take them shopping, pay for their children's day care and private school tuition, and even supplement vacations and other extravagances. Wow.

A heated discussion on CafeMom brought this question to the forefront and it's a good one. As a mom myself, I can't imagine helping my 30-something child raise their child. But tuition? I would give that in a heartbeat if I could afford it. Education is education, after all. Nevertheless, as a grownup, I would have some issues taking money from my own parents. So here are 7 great reasons NOT to take cash from your parents as an adult:

  1. Your kids will expect it, too: If you take money from your own parents to raise your kids, they will expect to get money from their grandparents their whole life. So who will be on the hook for their kids and so on and so on. It only perpetuates itself.
  2. There are ALWAYS strings: Money is a complicated issue and anyone who says there are no strings is as wrong as can be. A grandparent who pays tuition may feel they should be allowed to select schools and on and on it goes.
  3. There is bound to be some shame: Come on now. You are a GROWN up taking money from your parents. That’s embarrassing.
  4. The lack of independence can hurt you: When you can depend on someone else to fix your problems, it becomes very easy not to fix them yourself. At a certain point it really starts to hurt you.
  5. It’s not REALLY yours: You know that feeling when you get something you didn't earn? Yeah. It’s not so hot. It feels a little like ... it’s not yours at all. If you accept gifts from your family, that is the way it would always be. Stuff you earn yourself just FEELS better.
  6. Your won’t be able to shake your own kids financially: You will look like a giant hypocrite if you don’t pony up college cash, shopping money, and eventually help pay your grandkids' daycare. It’s only fair, right?
  7. You will OWE your parents: At some point, you will be expected to do things for your parents. If your parents are ungenerous scrooges, you get to say, “sorry I am busy” when they need you. But if they are giving you money? Forget it. You are at their beck and call. Night and day.

Do you take money from your parents?


Image via Tax Credits/Flickr

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