Okay, if Deadspin's annual list of most "interesting" objects inserted in body orifices is any indication, certain people need to make some serious New Year's Resolutions. I am NOT joking. The list is no joke, either -- this disturbing info is extracted from a "searchable database of emergency visits."
Oh my, oh my oh my oh my. What are people thinking?! I mean, it's one thing for a 3-year-old to accidentally get a Barbie shoe stuck up her nose. But why would any reasonable adult even consider sticking THAT thing up THERE? "Well doctor, you see, I just happened to be ... well, there's a perfectly logical explanation as to how I got this toy microphone stand stuck in my ... "
Seriously. Prepare to be shocked, horrified, and fascinated all at the same time ...
Here are just a few of the crazy, random things people stuck in very inapproprate parts of their body this year, organized by body part:
Ear:
PLASTIC DART
PIECE OF PAPER
"TOOTHPICK AND THEN HAIRPIN"
WOOD
SCREWDRIVER
PLASTIC DRINKING STRAW
Nose:
CRUCIFIX
BATTERY
TOY DIAMOND
"A PENNY OR POPCORN IN NOSE, SEEMS BOTHERED"
Throat:
LEMON SEED
MAXI PAD
CHECKER
THIMBLE
THUMBTACK
BUTTERFLY
Penis:
SPOON
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
FORKS
ORNAMENT
"PIECE OF TIMBER"
Vagina:
TOY MICROPHONE STAND
SEWING NEEDLES
"PATIENT STATES SHE SLIPPED & FELL ONTO A TOY TRUCK WHILE CLEANING"
HAIRSPRAY CAP
TUB STOPPER
Rectum:
FRENCH BREAD
VIAL OF BATH SALTS
ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS TREE BRANCH
DRUM STICK
VINEGAR BOTTLE
BABY BOTTLE
"LOOFA W/SUCTION CUP W/HOOK ATTACHED"
Let me guess: You're feeling shocked, horrified and fascinated all at the same time, aren't you? An artificial Christmas tree branch?! A piece of timber?! HOW? WHY?
Or maybe this list made you cringe with recognition. 'Fess up:
What's the weirdest thing you've ever gotten stuck in a body part?
Image via viZZZual.com/Flickr
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Comments 32
Hahaha! These are great! I work in the ER and we once saw a remote control up someone's rectum on x-ray. Had no idea how it got there! ;) PS, I have a thing about tubs (they are gross and can't be cleaned enough) so the tub stopper up the vag is wigging me out.
The funniest ER story I ever heard was from a med student who had just finished their emergency rotation. He was there when a couple came in (man with a lacerated scrotum, women with black eyes, bruised cheek bones, etc). Turns out they had been having a good time doggy style and didn't notice their cats in the room. The cat saw his balls swinging as he was doing his thing and attacked them, which led to him smashing her face into the bed frame! I cannot even imaging how embarassing it would be to have to explain that one to the doctor!!
er doctor i dated once told the story.. which I am sure is not first hand but one of those passed down stories doctor's like to tell as if it happened to them... annnnyway he said during his residency one night a a young woman came to the emergency room screaming she had vines growing from her... they finally got her to undress in front of a female nurse and sure enough she had vines growing from her vagina... well it seemed before she left to attend school in the united states her grandmother told her to insert a piece of sweet potato inside her to prevent getting pregnant and it sprouted.
I've been told that one of the most interesting jobs to have is being an x-ray tech at the ER. I've heard some pretty disturbing stories. The worst was a man that came in with a hampster stuck up his butt. How do you possibly explain that?!