Okay, if Deadspin's annual list of most "interesting" objects inserted in body orifices is any indication, certain people need to make some serious New Year's Resolutions. I am NOT joking. The list is no joke, either -- this disturbing info is extracted from a "searchable database of emergency visits."
Oh my, oh my oh my oh my. What are people thinking?! I mean, it's one thing for a 3-year-old to accidentally get a Barbie shoe stuck up her nose. But why would any reasonable adult even consider sticking THAT thing up THERE? "Well doctor, you see, I just happened to be ... well, there's a perfectly logical explanation as to how I got this toy microphone stand stuck in my ... "
Seriously. Prepare to be shocked, horrified, and fascinated all at the same time ...
Here are just a few of the crazy, random things people stuck in very inapproprate parts of their body this year, organized by body part:
PIECE OF PAPER
"TOOTHPICK AND THEN HAIRPIN"
PLASTIC DRINKING STRAW
"A PENNY OR POPCORN IN NOSE, SEEMS BOTHERED"
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
"PIECE OF TIMBER"
TOY MICROPHONE STAND
"PATIENT STATES SHE SLIPPED & FELL ONTO A TOY TRUCK WHILE CLEANING"
VIAL OF BATH SALTS
ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS TREE BRANCH
"LOOFA W/SUCTION CUP W/HOOK ATTACHED"
Let me guess: You're feeling shocked, horrified and fascinated all at the same time, aren't you? An artificial Christmas tree branch?! A piece of timber?! HOW? WHY?
Or maybe this list made you cringe with recognition. 'Fess up:
What's the weirdest thing you've ever gotten stuck in a body part?
Image via viZZZual.com/Flickr