Squeezing Your Breasts Could Crush Cancer -- Literally!

Say What!? 8

boob squeezeListen up, boys. What I'm about to tell you does NOT give you license to go around groping random bosoms all over the place, okay? So please act responsibly after you read the following words: According to several recent studies, squeezing a woman's breasts can actually help to fight cancer. (Hey, where do you think you're going? Show some restraint!)

Sounds kind of like a plan hatched by a bunch of scientists looking for an excuse to get to second base, right? Believe it or not, there's quite a lot of solid data behind this seemingly questionable theory.

Of course, the whole thing sounds way more legit when you call it the "manipulation of cell development through physical force" (medical jargon for "squeezing boobs"). Even more legit-sounding are the just-announced findings of a study out of UC Berkeley and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, which "show for the first time that mechanical forces alone can revert and stop the out-of-control growth of cancer cells."

More from The Stir: Man's Obsession With His Dead Dog May Lead to Cure for Breast Cancer (VIDEO)

Huh. That's a pretty big deal. A pretty big possible alternative to harsh cancer drugs deal.

Not that the boob-squeezing method is going to replace chemo anytime soon, warns Daniel Fletcher, professor of bioengineering at Berkeley and faculty scientist at the Berkeley Lab.

“Compression, in and of itself, is not likely to be a therapy ... but this does give us new clues to track down the molecules and structures that could eventually be targeted for therapies.”

Still, a step in the right direction. Particularly promising: Compression stops (and reverts!) out-of-control cancer cells "even though the genetic mutations responsible for malignancy remain."

WOW.

You know what, guys? Go ahead and squeeze some boobs. (Just ASK first.)

What do you think about this boob-squeezing study?

 

Image via Stefan Andrej Shambora/Flickr

breasts, cancer, illness

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nonmember avatar Cass

It doesn't seem particularly revolutionary to me- compressing the cells makes them grow more densely and neatly together. It could be useful in certain kinds of tumors, I guess, but I don't think it's particularly revolutionary.

sofia... sofia0587

I always do especially when I'm tired obviously in bed only lol

nonmember avatar sophie

Um.... yeah. Breastfeed.

Pinkmani Pinkmani

I do a boob massage once I take off that stupid bra. It's one of the first things I do when I get home. I've been like that since I was 16.

pupuk... pupukeawahine

OK--I  have a new job for my husband  .  .  .  I'm sure he won't mind  .  .  . 

April Johnson Stearns

I had breast cancer this year and my oncologist advised AGAINST squeezing/pushing against my breast lest bits of the tumor (quite large) actually break off and go floating around my body.

Miriam Kennedy

Maybe it prevents it in the first place, but once it's there it contributes to spreading it? 


 

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