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15 Surefire Ways to Fight Low Self-Esteem

by Aunt Becky on December 1, 2012 at 9:35 PM

Many, many of us (myself included) suffer from low self-esteem, which can affect nearly every part of our lives. It can make us feel like we're not good enough or we're bad people. Low self-esteem often leads to depression, which is something that can be very hard to cope with.

There are lots of reasons people have low self-esteem - among them, the way we were raised, our personalities, and the way we've been treated. The causes are less important than knowing how to fight the problem and boost our self-confidence.

Here are some ways you can combat low self-esteem.

1) Avoid pessimism, which can turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy. Rather than think "I'm going to fail," think "This is hard, but I can handle it."

2) Forgive yourself for not being perfect. No one is perfect, and making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person.

3) Don't use "I should," "I must," or "I'd better," when talking to yourself because these statements can really place some unreasonable expectations on yourself, making you feel like a failure when you're unable to meet them.

4) Make a list - or have a friend help you - of things you've done well and the positive traits you have. These can be as simple as "I'm a good mother" or "I am great at staying organized." This list can help to combat the "always" and "never" statements, such as "I always fail" or "I never follow through."

5) Listen - really listen - when people compliment you rather than brushing it off or assuming they're just being nice.

6) Focus on all your good qualities rather than the ones that aren't so good.

7) Negative self-talk ("I always fail") is your mind's way of lying to you. Just because your brain thinks it doesn't mean it's true.

8) Remind yourself that the person who is most important to please is you. Yes, you. You'll never please everyone else, so it's best to give up trying.

9) Don't base your self-worth on what others think or say about you. Not everyone will approve of your choices or life, but you owe it to you to make yourself happy.

10) Use negative feedback as a way of growing and learning rather than allowing it to beat you down and make you feel worse about yourself.

11) Dump any unreasonable guilt - even though you'll probably never be able to dump ALL the guilt, it's important to remind yourself that you don't need to beat yourself up every time you feel like you're failing.

12) Look for the positive in even the most negative situations. If you're struggling, make a list of the reasons something happened and what you're learning from it.

13) Don't call yourself names. Instead of saying "I suck at life," say "I'm not perfect, but that's okay because no one is," or "I'm just doing the best I can."

14) Lighten up some. Life isn't always such serious business and it's very important to remember that humor can do a lot to change your perspective.

15) Allow yourself to relish the small victories and celebrate them. Every time you have even the smallest of victories, this can help you lead to bigger victories down the road.

How do you combat low self-esteem?


Image via DanaK~WaterPenny/Flickr

Filed Under: emotional health, self esteem

Comments

18
  • nikki...
    --

    nikkivolkov

    December 1, 2012 at 10:03 PM
    When I start down the road of whatever all my problems are which normally are numerous, I take a step back and list all the things I'm grateful for big and small and it always puts things in perspective for me. Plus I know God isn't going to give me more than I can handle or the tools to handle them with. Sometimes a Thankyou prayer is what keeps me sane
  • the4m...
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    the4mutts

    December 1, 2012 at 10:29 PM
    Lately it has helped me to have my s/o home more. He's laid off at the moment. But just knowing that he is now available 24hrs a day to support me has done wonders at times I need to vent.
    I know when he goes back to work next month, I will not have this as much anymore. But the bonding we've gotten to experience will neverbe erased. Its also helped me to learn to rely on him more for help when I need it.
    I got so used to doing everything myself, and was too stressed. With him home, I've given him more household tasks, because he was feeling useless not working, and just sitting around.
    Now I know that even when he's working, then when he gets home, I can relax and he can take care of a few things. Learning to ask for help, helped my esteem because I learned I CAN'T do it all alone, and its okay :)
  • Cel7777
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    Cel7777

    December 2, 2012 at 12:39 AM

    I don't have low self esteem at all...I wish I could share some tips for those who do, but I honestly don't know why.


  • kajira
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    kajira

    December 2, 2012 at 5:49 AM

    I think that trying to see the positiv ein any situation is the key,.


  • Todd...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Todd Vrancic

    December 2, 2012 at 8:51 AM

    Someone told me once that when someone compliments you and you don't know what to say, say "Thank you."


  • DebaLa
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    DebaLa

    December 2, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    I see every day as a brand new canvas to paint it the way you like, without the baggage of yesterday, the day before, etc. That always starts with opening the windows and blinds to let the light stream in and set up the mood.

    And even if you're not in a good frame of mind about yourself, to kickstart the change, try the fake-it-'til-you-make-it mood elevator method. Sometimes 'acting' in the way you want to feel confident (smiling, fixing yourself up, being in public interacting) will imprint the good feelings and rewards and you'll want them again.

    It's conditioning and stepping outside your box. In lieu of 'change your head, the feet will follow'; move your feet, the head will follow will get things started.


  • kellynh
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    kellynh

    December 3, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Keep making lemonade... :)


  • godde...
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    goddess99

    December 3, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    I don't have low self esteem, but those seem like good tips for people who do.


  • Madel...
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    Madelaine

    December 3, 2012 at 9:20 AM

    Great article!


  • nates...
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    natesmom1228

    December 3, 2012 at 9:55 AM

    I always try to look for the good in any situation.


1-10 of 18 comments

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