After reading that The Real Housewives of New York's Sonja Morgan periodically does juice fasts to keep herself trim and looking young, I was all Sonjaaaaaaa. Girl! Let's go out to lunch and NOT eat! Because I myself am on day four of a juice fast. Though I'm not doing it to lose weight or keep young looking. (However, if the second thing happens, I wouldn't hate it.) No, while Sonja juice fasts for her looks and health, I'm doing it for a somewhat more embarrassing reason. And the results were not at ALL what I expected. Pull up a chair, dieters ...

After discovering I had a health issue that I'd rather not mention (coughanalfissurecough), eating became an excruciatingly painful experience for me. Well, not the eating part. Rather, the part that comes a few hours after the eating (Coughwhatcomesoutmyasscough).

So I stopped eating. Well, I stopped eating solid foods. I went on a juice fast. I'm not totally crazy, I'd done a lot of research on how to heal this particular health problem, and that was one thing that was recommended. It made sense to me. If you can make what comes out of your ass either come out nice and soft or not come out at all, you've got it made in AF world.

So I went to the store and bought a ton of juices. All Bolthouse Farms, my favorite brand (even though I HATE their difficult to open caps!). Strawberry and banana. Green Goodness. Carrot. Berries. And then I read up on what to do during a juice fast. Drink every two hours. 

The first day, I got hungry about three hours into it, about when I usually eat lunch. So I caved in and had some butternut squash soup. Then I went back to the juices. It's been like that for almost four days now.

Some surprising results: One, I never got hungry again after that first day. I feel like I'm eating full meals even though I'm not eating any meals. Two, I have lost no weight. I was worried about that because I don't want to lose any weight, and I have a tendency to lose weight rapidly and I don't have that much to lose. But this time, with the juices, I'm the exact same weight I was before I started it.

Three, I still go number two. The same amount of times. For some reason, I thought this might stop entirely. It doesn't. Things are softer though. (Forgive the TMI!)

I wouldn't say I feel any differently at all. I don't have more or less energy than normal. I'm not sleeping better or worse. My skin looks the same. My stomach feels exactly the same. I was at least hoping all my ab work would finally show up with the juice fast, but nope.

Maybe a real juice fast needs to be longer than four days. I think tomorrow I'm going to start back on some solid foods, as things are much better downstairs. (Thanks for asking.) Here's what Sonja had after her juice fast. Looks like ... that ain't food, Sonja!

 

Do you juice fast?

Editor's Note: Bolthouse Farms does not contain added sugar or fructose. ALL fruits contain sugars.

 

Image via Bravo