You Too Can Have an (Almost) Functional Family Thanksgiving!

thanksgiving dinnerOh boy, Thanksgiving is nearly upon us! And there's nothing to make you want to give thanks like spending a day cooped up inside with your nearest and dearest. That's right, whether you're sitting around your parents' dining room table repressing miserable childhood memories and inwardly criticizing your mother for STILL making instant mashed potatoes or serving your parents as they sit around your dining room table repressing miserable childhood memories and listening to your mother outwardly criticize you for spending so much time and money on actual (organic!) potatoes, well ... um ... give thanks for WHAT, exactly?!

Why are we voluntarily spending time with these people, again?


Look, the truth is, most of us don't have the slightest idea what a "functional" family Thanksgiving even looks like. But that doesn't mean we're doomed to a lifetime of dysfunctional holidays. Here are a few tips for making this Thanksgiving, if not "functional," at least less dysfunctional than usual ...

1. Skip the leftovers. No, I'm not talking about food. Exercise your willpower and resist re-hashing the same argument you have every year with your sister/mother/father/brother/cousin. Guess what? It's been 25 years. If you haven't resolved the issue as of yet? Bygones, people.

2. Don't be a jive turkey. So you turned out to be more wealthy/thin/popular than your siblings. So what? Believe me, they already KNOW they screwed up. You don't have to ruin dessert by mentioning that muffin top.

3. Drown your sorrows slowly. Can't make it through the holiday without hitting the sauce? Hey, I'm not judging. But if you can manage it, pace yourself. Trust me on this one! Better to pass out on the couch while everybody else watches football -- you know, all classy-like -- than face down in your second helping of stuffing.

What's your secret to surviving Thanksgiving with the family?


Image via OldOnliner/Flickr

Read More >