Follow The Stir

Countdown With Scary Mommy

10 Things I Just Can't Learn

by Jill Smokler on December 3, 2012 at 7:47 AM

I'm not a genius. I'm not going to be accepted into Mensa for a crazy high IQ and I didn't score a 1,600 on my SATS. But, I'm also not a complete moron. Or, maybe I am, because there are some idiotic things that I do again and again and again.

1. I make an obscenely huge amount of pasta. Every damn time I try and feed three children spaghetti, I swear I could feed an army. A big one. 

2. I turn the wrong way when leaving a store. I then, of course, have to fiddle with my phone so it doesn't look completely obvious that I have no idea where I'm going.

3. I shut the door when I use the bathroom. What's the point of that? I'll just get barged in on or hollered for. 

4. I use the wrong light switch. We've lived in our house for almost three years, and it still takes me three tries to turn on the hallway light.

5. I still bother cleaning up the playroom. There's no point at all in that. 

6. I interpret silence from my three kids as a good thing rather than the disaster it never ceases to be.

7. I can't recall a single phone number. I swear, at this point in my life, I am incapable of learning nine numbers in the correct order.

8. I think my children will listen to me I ask them to be quiet while I take an important phone call.

9. I put veggies on my children's plate believing that they might actually eat them.

10. I believe that I'm capable of getting a good night's sleep. Ha!

What idiotic things do YOU do?


Image via Scary Mommy

Filed Under: emotional health


  • Miche...


    December 3, 2012 at 7:49 AM

    Haha I tell our kiddos do not make any plans with their friends all weekend. ;)

  • 4kidz916


    December 3, 2012 at 8:05 AM

    I am always using the wrong light switch.  Glad I'm not the only one. 

  • truth...


    December 3, 2012 at 8:12 AM

    I believe the laundry is ACTUALLY done, when really, it's just waiting for the next spill or for everyone to get a bath to fill up my washing machine. 

  • kellynh


    December 3, 2012 at 9:04 AM

    Finding your car when leaving Walmart... A challenge. You were too busy getting the kids out to pay attention to where you parked. ;)

  • godde...


    December 3, 2012 at 9:14 AM

    I've lived in my home 20 years and still turn on 2 switches before getting the kitchen one to turn on. Remembering where I parked at the mall.

  • Madel...


    December 3, 2012 at 9:20 AM

    Very true!

  • Anna
    -- Nonmember comment from


    December 3, 2012 at 9:44 AM
    Thinkin my husband will remember dirty clothes go two feet over IN the laundry basket. Im still waitin for the day it becomes visible to him! ;0) .... I always park in the same isle everytime I go to walmart... That way I never forget where my truck is! Lol.
  • Anna
    -- Nonmember comment from


    December 3, 2012 at 9:44 AM
    And by isle... I mean row. ;o)
  • jenni...


    December 3, 2012 at 9:45 AM
    Who are you calling that you need 9 numbers?? Lol. Phone numbers are 10 digits. No wonder you can't call people.
  • GwenMB


    December 3, 2012 at 10:09 AM

    With my kids, extended periods of laughter need to be checked on. lol  When they are having that much fun, it often means they are making a huge mess or doing something that I'm going to find rather annoying.  Oddly, for now at least, quiet is usually ok.

1-10 of 19 comments

To leave a comment, log in as a CafeMom member:

Log In

OR, use our non-member comment form: