10 Things I Just Can't Learn

I'm not a genius. I'm not going to be accepted into Mensa for a crazy high IQ and I didn't score a 1,600 on my SATS. But, I'm also not a complete moron. Or, maybe I am, because there are some idiotic things that I do again and again and again.


1. I make an obscenely huge amount of pasta. Every damn time I try and feed three children spaghetti, I swear I could feed an army. A big one. 

2. I turn the wrong way when leaving a store. I then, of course, have to fiddle with my phone so it doesn't look completely obvious that I have no idea where I'm going.

3. I shut the door when I use the bathroom. What's the point of that? I'll just get barged in on or hollered for. 

4. I use the wrong light switch. We've lived in our house for almost three years, and it still takes me three tries to turn on the hallway light.

5. I still bother cleaning up the playroom. There's no point at all in that. 

6. I interpret silence from my three kids as a good thing rather than the disaster it never ceases to be.

7. I can't recall a single phone number. I swear, at this point in my life, I am incapable of learning nine numbers in the correct order.

8. I think my children will listen to me I ask them to be quiet while I take an important phone call.

9. I put veggies on my children's plate believing that they might actually eat them.

10. I believe that I'm capable of getting a good night's sleep. Ha!

What idiotic things do YOU do?


Image via Scary Mommy

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