Dear tabloids everywhere: There's a story you keep telling over and over again, and it depresses the hell out of me. It goes something like this. Woman appears to gain weight. Woman goes out in public. Tabloids take unflattering photos and shame her. Ooh, fat fatty! Woman disappears, diets, and comes back thinner. We love her again! Redeemed through weight loss.
Take food personality Nigella Lawson. Remember last summer when she showed up at the beach in a burkini and everyone was like, "OMG, what a COW!" Yeah, a proud moment for us all. For the record, The Stir said Nigella was gorgeous and didn't need to hide her curves under a tent.
Well it's time for the "redemption" portion of this saga -- Nigella was recently seen "showing off her incredible weight loss." Jessica Simpson, are you paying attention?
Daily Mail, Imma let you finish, but Nigella Lawson is one of the greatest food personalities of all time. WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT HER WEIGHT?!? Do we EVER see articles about what a total pudge Mario Batali is? A couple years ago he was in the news for dropping 40 pounds through his "healthy pasta" -- but it turns out that was just a bit of self-generated publicity. NOT a mean hit job from the tabloids.
And now we're on Jessica Simpson Whale Watch. GASP, she gained 1,684 pounds during her pregnancy. LET'S ALL WATCH CLOSELY TO FIND OUT HOW LONG IT TAKES TO LOSE IT ALL. Can she do it: Fifty pounds in five months? Fifty shades of FAT. No pressure, Jessica!
Does anyone else find this all depressing? I know these women all chose careers that put them in the public eye. Hell, for all I know, Nigella may have phoned up the Daily Mail and said, "DO be sure to send some photogs to capture my regally slim self today, I'll be at ..." But why would she do that? Maybe because the last time she was in the papers, she was made to look like the Batmobile had washed up on shore. Who could blame her.
What do you think about these weight gain/weight loss stories?
Image via Splash News