Weight gain sucks. A lot. Sometimes when it's just a few pounds and you've had a "rough couple of weeks" -- it's not the worst thing ever. But those 10 pounds that sneak up on you over the course of a few months and make you actually avoid the beach like the plague? Effin'. Worst. No, none of this is from personal experience. I swear.
So what do we do, us females? We try to fix the problem, you know, with all of these little tricks. We make all of these commitments to ourselves like only drinking water and swearing off carbs because, hey, a few quick fixes and holy shit you'll have a body like Angelina Jolie. Right, because a goal like that's TOTALLY realistic.
Thus I present you with the 10 biggest lies we tell ourselves when we want to lose weight:
1. I'm going to take the stairs instead of the elevator everywhere I go.
Who are you kidding? Laziness will kick in by day 2. Plus, taking the stairs takes longer. Hello lack of efficiency.
2. I'm only going to drink only water for the next 30 days. OK, coffee is allowed. Oh, seltzer's fine. And a glass of wine on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
Water doesn't get rid of that bad taste in your mouth. At least that's what you'll tell yourself when you're craving a milkshake. Mmmm, mint chocolate chip.
3. No more bread. No form of bread. No cereal. No rice. Pretend it's Passover, you got this.
Your coworker brings in a cheese and cracker platter from her kid's birthday party: immediate fail.
4. I'm going to bring my gym clothes to work because it will force me to go to the gym afterward.
It's unfortunately just as easy to bring the gym clothes BACK home as it is to bring them to work -- unused.
5. If I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m., I'm definitely going to go running.
The second 6:31 hits, that snooze button is so your BFFL.
6. Strategically placing my alarm clock across the room so I just have to GET UP!
... and then go back to bed.
7. Filling my iPod with great music is totally going to motivate me to work out.
Incorrect, it's probably just going to get you arrested because you downloaded the songs illegally since you spent all your money on eating out last week.
8. I am going to skip happy hour tonight because I don't need the extra calories.
Right, except you most likely will have a bad day at the office. Then you NEED that drink. And that small bar-sized pizza ... because it's half-price. A special! Mom told me to always appreciate a good bargain, wouldn't want to let her down.
9. I will go to bed early. Every night this week.
Once you turn on that Say Yes to the Dress marathon, that promise goes straight out the window.
10. No eating after 8 p.m. Screw it, let's aim for 6 instead.
The only issue? Say Yes to the Dress isn't as good without some popcorn. And soft serve.
Does it all sound familiar?
Image via meddygarnet/Flickr