Forget Making Any New Friends After the Age of 30

friendshipI am pretty sure whoever first said, "Make new friends but keep the old" was in her 30s. The fact is, we all go through our teens and 20s making new friends with ease, spending tons of time with them and bonding through shared activities. But once we reach our 30s all that ends.

Writer Natalie Thomas addressed these issues in a blog for Huffington Post this week. And it's so true. It's so much harder to make friends than it is to date when you're a busy 30-something. The fact is, at this age, most of us are settled into our routine. For those of us who are married, we may have kids and a house and bills. We have jobs and lives that are pretty much non-stop from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. every day of the week.

Friendship? What's that?

It's sad to say that 90 percent of my communication with my friends is via email or Facebook or text. I don't have time for long phone conversations, and if I do go out with a friend for dinner, my husband complains we could have done a date night instead.

The problem isn't that people in their 30s don't want new friends. It's that there is no time. But we should make time.

I never feel better than after I get a night or two out with friends. But those nights are few and far between. The fact is, if I do get a night to myself, I would usually rather spend it alone and, if not alone, then with a friend who knows me well enough not to mind my messy top knot and lack of any makeup.

Friendships take time to cultivate and to keep strong and, unfortunately, time is in short supply in our 30s. It isn't ideal, but it's a fact of the age.

Still, it isn't impossible. The good thing about this age is that the friendships you DO find that make sense happen much faster. I have found myself shedding a lot of the crappy friends I made in my 20s for the few newer ones who are more me. Having less friends isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it also means better friends.

Do you think the 30s are hard on friendship?

 

Image via WiseWellWoman/Flickr

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