‘Lying Eyes’ Apparently Don’t Exist (So Stop Being So Suspicious!)

lying eyesSo you know that whole thing about lying eyes and you can always tell if somebody's not being honest with you because they won't make eye contact and blah blah blah? Well, it is with great pleasure that I share this news: According to the latest research, the entire shifty-eyed theory is a myth!

A study conducted by experts from Edinburgh University and Hetfordshire University concluded that while "a large percentage of the public believes that certain eye movements are a sign of lying, and this idea is even taught in organizational training courses ... our research provides no support for the idea and so suggests that it is time to abandon this approach to detecting deceit."

Ha, ha! They were totally wrong!

Perhaps you're wondering why I'm so personally invested in these findings. See, it all started back in high school, in the days before caller I.D. and cellphones -- back when kids were forced to torment each other with prank phone calls because the Internet wasn't around yet.

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For months I was the target of a serial prank caller, one whose identity remains a mystery to this very day. Every time it was the same -- I would pick up the phone, say hello, and the music would start:

You can't hide your lyin' eyes/And your smiiiiile is a thin disguise/Thought by now you'd realiiiiize/Ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes.

"Who is this?! Lyin' about what?" The dial tone was my only answer. Drove me freakin' insane, especially because I seriously didn't know why this person kept playing that song. I hadn't cheated on or dumped anyone. So unfair!

Years later, I dated a guy whose profession required him to take those aforementioned "organizational courses" in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), a system which basically links eye movements and truth telling (for example, if a right-handed person looks up to the right while talking, they're supposedly telling a lie).

How can I explain the experience ... okay, imagine dating Robert De Niro's character in Meet the Parents. That's what it was like.

Him: Why did you look up when you said that?

Me: Huh?

Him: You looked up and to the right when you said you went to the movies with your girlfriend. Where did you really go? 

Me: Oh no, not this again. I'm seriously starting to think there's something wrong with you.

Oh yeah. Good times. Anyway, I sincerely, SINCERELY hope that this new research will stop the false accusation madness.

Has anyone ever accused you of having lying eyes?

 

Image via Kamil Ignaciuk/Flickr

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