pancakesThe Olympics are just around the corner (they start on July 27, to be exact) and while many of us won't be able to take in the Summer Games from the stands in London, there's still a fun way we can support our nation's greatest athletes. I'm not talking about putting one of those ridiculous temporary flag tattoos on your cheek, I'm talking, of course, about eating. Nothing says "U.S.A! U.S.A!" quite like taking down thousands of calories in one sitting, right? Going for the gold never tasted so good.

The New York Daily News got their hands on what a male heavyweight rower needs to eat while training, and by god, is it a glorious feast. Inhaling between 6,000 and 10,000 calories a day to keep up with the workouts, his diet is a veritable dream come true for some who likes the feeling that their stomach is about to explode with every last finger lick.

His mornings involve a large bowl of cereal, such as porridge, muesli or Weetabix, a half pint semi-skimmed milk plus chopped banana, 1-2 thick slices wholegrain bread with olive oil or sunflower spread and honey or jam, glass of fruit juice, 1 liter fruit squash (concentrated fruit mixes), 1 liter sports drink during training, portion of scrambled eggs, portion of baked beans, 1-2 slices grilled lean bacon, portion of grilled mushrooms or tomatoes, 2 thick slices wholegrain bread with olive oil spread, 1 liter fruit squash.

And that's all before 11 a.m.

It's not as exciting a start as Michael Phelps' breakfast ritual from 2008 which included three sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions, and mayonnaise, one omelet, a bowl of grits, and three slices of French toast with powdered sugar washed down with three chocolate chip pancakes with butter, syrup, and whipped cream ... but it's certainly an amount to behold.

So you and I might not be "training" for the "Olympics," and we might not "need" over "1,600 calories" a "day" but let's rally around our country's best competitors and show them some love by eating about eight times the amount of food we actually need in a 12-hour period. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, after all.

I, for one, will toast our Olympians with a breakfast of three sausages, a box of Entenmann's old fashioned coffee cake, a bucket of hash browns, and a trough of grapefruit juice. For lunch I'll take down a triple bypass burger, and snack on something light, like a pound of a half of gummy bears. Dinner will need to be something patriotic, so ... I'll eat a medium-sized calf, a dozen fried chickens, and a gallon of butter sauteed with some collard greens. If there's room for dessert, you better believe I'm going after that cheeseburger pizza.

Mere's to mall our mathletes wiff mamazing fkills!

Sorry, my mouth was full. Ahem.

Here's to all our athletes with amazing skills!

Do you rev up your eating when you're on a strict workout schedule?

 

Photo via Dave Hayworth/Flickr