A Drink a Day Keeps the Bed Bugs Away

boozeHere's one way to make sure the bed bugs don't bite -- booze.

Apparently the disgusting little blood suckers don't like wine with, or should I say in, their meal.

A study from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln shows that bed bugs are more likely to leave you alone if you have a high blood alcohol concentration. When they munch on drinkers, they tend to eat less and lay fewer eggs.

There is a direct link between how much they eat and how much they reproduce. It boils down to a survival issue. With clean blood, they double in size and have a bunch of gross, little babies. Boozy blood keeps them small and less likely to multiply. So basically, they will pick a teetotaler over a lush if one is around.

Is it just me or is this the best excuse to get drunk that you've ever heard!?! After all, bed bugs are the worst pest problem you can possibly have. They are easy to get (they can jump from pants leg to pants leg on subways) and ridiculously expensive to get rid of (people have spent $5,000 trying to kill those critters). You might even have to trash all your furniture and rugs, not to mention the social pariah it turns you into. Basically, people with known beg bug infestations don't get any visitors or many invites.

Of course these respected researchers are not encouraging everyone to go out and get smashed -- and neither am I if you have a problem with drugs and alcohol. But if you enjoy the occasional spirit, I think this should certainly lessen any lingering guilt over that three-martini lunch, after-work beer, or bottle of wine (or two) with dinner!

Do you buy this new bed bug research?

 

Image via DeusXFlorida/Flickr

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the4m... the4mutts

Get a spray bottle and give your bed, and bedding, and body a spritz before bed. They'll go away.

Jk. I'm in california, we don't have a bedbug problem here, and I have no clue what I'm talking about.

orang... orangetree

Make mine a Beefeater martini with 3 olives!

Hocke... HockeyMomNJ

Ugh so nasty. There's a brand new movie theater that had to get bulldozed because they couldn't get rid of them.............eeewww. maybe they should have started serving booze.

nonmember avatar Anne

wonderful submit, very informative. I ponder why the opposite experts of this sector do not realize this.
You should proceed your writing. I'm confident, you've a great readers' base already!

nonmember avatar zizzler

meh, I'll stick to the tea tree oil soap and shampoo. Spritzing the kids with teatree oil in the AM before school has kept them lice and bed bug free for years!

nonmember avatar Robert Stewart

Another great example of meaningless research. It uses a sample way too small and short in duration. In addition, it also ignores the fact the bed bugs still munched on the blood with the highest BAC and still laid eggs.

It also ignores the damage that drinking so much does to one's body (brain, liver, and kidney for starters).

This research is as bad as the flawed research that claims moderate drinking is healthier than not drinking. That research also ignores the damage to brain, liver, kidney, etc. AND it also is flawed for several reasons. Most often, it's funded by individual alcohol companies or one or more segments of the alcohol industry. It also lumps ex-heavy drinkers in with non-drinkers. Funny how when the ex-heavies are removed from the list, then the non-drinkers are healthier than the moderate drinkers.

I am not sure why you think this should lessen guilt over having an occasional drink. Even if the study had merit, an occasional drink isn't going to help that much. At best, getting hammered, the highest BAC in the study, still had bedbugs reproducing and drinking the alcohol-soaked blood. There were still plenty of eggs laid in that group, more than enough to keep your place infested.

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