Remember back in the good old days, when the standard response to somebody doing crazy stuff was "What are you, on crack or something?" Yeah, I called 'em "good old days" -- because as wack as crack was (and is), I've never heard of a naked crackhead eating somebody's face off.
Nope, behavior THAT extreme is apparently one of the lovelier side effects of "bath salts," the synthetic drug being blamed for the grisly Miami "cannibal" attack.
Other side effects include:
Extreme aggression, paranoia, psychosis, depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, temporary bursts of seemingly super-human strength, death ... and, in the case of one guy, running from the cops at 1 a.m. because you think you're being "chased by lightning."
Um, awesome. What the hell ARE bath salts, anyway?!
According to the DEA, bath salts are a “designer drug of the phenethylamine class," usually containing "amphetamine-like chemicals such as methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV), mephedrone, and pyrovalerone."
Bath salts come in a powdered form which can be injected, inhaled or swallowed and are sold under names like Magic Plant Food, Ivory Wave, Red Dove, Purple Wave, Blue Silk, Cloud Nine and Ocean Snow ... legally.
Most of the time, anyway. Because while some states have banned bath salts (it should be noted that Florida, scene of the flesh-eating crime, is one of those states), they're perfectly legal to purchase in most areas of the country.
I know what you're thinking: A person can go to jail for smoking a substance that, worst case scenario, might make them pig out on Taco Bell -- but NOT for smoking a substance that, worst case scenario, might make them pig out on some guy's face?!
Yes. Unfortunately, synthetic drugs are tough to control, even in states where they're banned. According to the NCSA, "minor changes to the chemical make-up of these substances can create new but very similar drugs not covered in the law."
Let's hope what happened in Miami stops people from trying bath salts since the law can't.
Have you heard any horror stories about bath salts?
Image via Raquel Baranow/Flickr