pollenUh-oh! Looks like it's time for the annual mass panic about how "this allergy season is going to be the worst, longest allergy season ever" to begin! Because it is, you know. Going to be the worst, longest allergy season on record. That's what everybody's saying.

Look, I know it's pretty much true -- I've had allergies for my entire life and over the past few years they've definitely gotten more severe. I just think it's kind of funny how every spring it seems like the current allergy season is on a mission to one-up last year's edition.

I mean, Allergy Season 2011 was bad enough. If Allergy Season 2012 lives up to the hype, I'm afraid the standard methods of relief for the pollen-sensitive just won't cut it.

Imagine the drastic measures we'll be forced to take!

All in the name of clear nasal passages and non-itchy eyes.

Instead of ...

Taking decongestants

We'll need to ...

Have sinus transplant surgery

Instead of ...

Getting allergy shots on a weekly basis

We'll need to ...

Get them twice a day (Starbucks will probably start selling allergy shots instead of espresso shots)

Instead of ...

Using eyedrops

We'll need to ...

Remove our eyeballs and soak them in saline solution every morning

Instead of ...

Buying a HEPA filter to clear allergens from the air in our homes

We'll need to ...

Wear personal HEPA filter masks at all times (particularly while sleeping)

Perhaps I exaggerate. But probably not by much!

Have your allergies been getting worse over the past few years?


Image via Paul Sapiano/Flickr