Pardon my language, but I imagine the past few months of Demi Moore's life have been a shit show. Not only did she have to deal with a very public divorce, she had to deal with the fact that the man she thought she knew and loved was a lying, cheating demon. Stressful isn't even the word.
And to add insult to injury, throughout the weeks following the announcement of their divorce, every blog, legitimate news source, and rag mag featured photos of a particularly gaunt Moore, and offered commentary about how thin and frail she looked. Hell, in a recent interview with Bazaar, Demi said that even her friends were saying things like, "You're too thin, and you don't look good."
Wow. That's, like, really effing rude. Just as rude as saying, "You're too fat, and you don't look good."
Everybody knows that a stressful event in life -- a break-up, a death, a job loss -- is "the world's best diet." For the most part, when people are anxious, nervous, and worried, they don't eat. They just stress. From the outside, it might look like the person is enjoying their newfound jeans size, but I know for a fact they'd give anything just to have things normal.
Usually, I consider myself to be on the smaller side. Most of my family is. In fact, I look huge compared to my tiny, tiny grandmother. When I'm stressed out, though -- I.E. when I broke up with my boyfriend of five years, or when my mother was battling cancer -- I'm just going to say it, I'm downright minuscule. And it's not cute. I feel gaunt, old-looking, and the circles under my eyes are more pronounced and exaggerated than ever. I hate it. But what I hate even more is people pointing out how thin I look. Particularly since the tone is never a "Hey, you look great!" one. It's one with a tinge of disgust.
This, of course, is usually followed by a "covert" (read: totally obvious) monitoring of what I'm eating -- or should I say, not eating. Sorry, but when I'm super stressed I feel borderline nauseous, and I just don't want to eat. I'm not starving myself. And I don't need anyone insinuating that I am.
We would never point out the opposite to those who resort to the other extreme -- eating more than usual -- when they feel anxious. We would never say to a hurt or depressed friend. "Hey, you look too fat, and you don't look good" to someone who already felt like crap. That would only make then feel worse. Just as it does when you tell someone they look too thin.
Have you ever been insulted by someone saying you look too thin?
Image via Harper's Bazaar


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Comments 37
Any "close" friend who says something so rude is not your friend. If someone is genuinely concerned about a friend they would ask how to be of support. This obviously was an insecure, very shallow person who made those comments to her. She needs to "unfriend" them asap.
My sisters tell me this constantly and they're both overweight. But it would be outrageous that I tell them that. Super, super, super annoying.
Not enough to do anything about it, but I miss being thin. Women telling you that you look "too thin" isn't usually an insult, as much as it is a jealous statement.
Demi Moore looks old as hell to me, and needs to cut that "Clairol Natural Instincts" treated Morticia Addams hair that she's clinging onto in an attempt to maintain some sense of youthfulness.
THAT'S an insult.
Yeah, I love how people think it's okay to say "You're only having a salad? You should eat more," But if you told an obese woman "You're having steak and fires? You should eat less," you're a bigot, a bitch, whatever...If someone is naturally skinny, it's just rude, and if they actually have an eating disorder, that kind of feedback just feeds into it...doesn't help either way. I think, and this will get criticized, that it makes heavy people feel better to convince themselves that every thin person is anorexic, then it normalizes their obesity in some way.
BTW - I love her hair. I think it's antiquated and bitter to still expect women "of a certain age" to cut all their hair off, as once was the norm (and still is in the south!) That's like agreeing, as women, that we are no longer able to be sexy after a certain age, and that kind of thinking hurts all women. If you like your hair short, wear it, but she obviously likes hers long. There is no need for her to cut it because of her age!
Thank you for this article! It irritates me to no end when people tell me this too, I mean, honestly, I know when I've lost (or gained) weight, and I know I don't look my best, but why do I need it pointed out? I'm almost always on the thin side, because I work hard, outside, on horses and doing manual labor, every single day. And for me, if I work a hard 16hr a day weekend at the ranch, I lose 5 or 6 pounds, and I look like I'm starving. I know I look awful, and yes, I am eating a lot to make up for it, but for me, it comes off easier then it goes on, I am not unhealthy, and I am aware of it! Thank you very much!
Also, cute things people say, like, "your so small, I could sneeze (fart, belch, cough, ect) and blow you away!" "I have a dog who weighs more then you" "I bet you dont weigh 90lbs dripping wet!" "Your just the cutest little thing aren't you?" "My daughter just grew taller, do you want some of her old clothes"
Not Cute!
Yeah, she looks good in this pic, thanks to PhotoShop, but when she's out and about, her candid pics look really bad.
She could stand to lose half a foot or more of her hair. It's just dragging her face down more.
I am from Mississippi, now living in Texas, and I never see elderly people with super long hair.
She can wear her hair however she wants, but she looks like Morticia Addams.
Bahahaha! I almost forgot about that pic! If you haven't seen it, it's disturbing, and looks like she's got Shaft in a leg lock.