For many women, the idea of self-promotion, tooting one's own horn or selling oneself, is akin to being conceited. It's not. Men have no problem telling people how awesome they are and both they -- and the people they are talking to -- believe them. In fact, self-promotion is the number one way to get ahead.

Last month, the international research group Catalyst released a study showing that self-promotion is the single most effective key to women’s success in every area from business to romance. Those who tooted their own horn advanced further, felt better about their careers, and were paid better than those who didn't.

But to be a self-promoting woman can be very scary. No one expects women to feel good about themselves, let alone to try to make others do the same.

The fact is, women who self-promote are dismissed as narcissists by many, so it can be much easier to remain passive and assume that people will recognize your talent without you telling them. But it's just not going to happen.

People get wrapped up in their own lives, and unless they're actively seeking you and your talents, they aren't likely to stumble upon them accidentally. For women to get ahead, we have to push more and believe that we are worthy and that our talents are worthy as well.

Some myths have to be dispelled. There is nothing wrong with feeling good about oneself and believing that you're the best person for a job. There is nothing wrong with believing in one's own talents and sharing that belief with others. This idea that "modesty" is a virtue is silly in this new world of shameless self-promotion.

The ones who get ahead are the ones who put themselves out there the most. My rule of thumb for self-promotion is this: It's not bragging if it's true.

The fact is, if people don't like you because you toot your own horn, that's their problem. Secure people feel happy for confident people. And losing insecure friends is no great loss.

Do you toot your own horn?

 

Image via Sadie Hernandez/Flickr