Watching TV Could Kill You, but Who Cares?

girl watching tvI've reached a conclusion. If I want to lead a long and healthy life, all I need to do is hunt for my own food with a bow and arrow, pick berries half the day, sleep from sun down to sun up, and stretch. Living any other way will kill you. This week, it's TV that is shortening our lives. An Australian research company has determined that for every hour we spend in front of the boob tube, our life is shortened by 22 minutes. They followed 11,000 people for 12 years and found that those who watched more than six hours of television a day died on average 4.8 years earlier than those who watched none.

Hey Australian researchers? Are you listening? I've got something to say to you maties: BULL. SHIT.

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I don't believe for a g.d. second that TV is the cause. I'd guess they'd get the same results if they observed people who sat on their ass for six hours or more a day compared to those who didn't -- it's the sitting and eating that's probably killing us, not the TV, for crying out loud.

OK, OK, I'm no sciencey experty persony but still! I'm so tired of people ganging up on my beloved TV. My life has been enriched (enriched I say!) by shows like Friday Night Lights, which taught me how to communicate in my relationship as well as win State, like Damages, which taught me everything I know about manipulation and power suits, like The Real Housewives, which has taught me how not to be a lady, and like the Real World Road Rules Challenge, which has taught me an infinite amount on zip lines, binge drinking, and the excitement a large check for $200,000 can bring.

I've accepted that I'm going to die, so if I die watching TV, so be it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hunt for my wild turkey dinner tonight so I have something gamy to eat while I settle in for a marathon of whatever is playing on Bravo from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m.

Do you think TV is killing you?


Photo via Luke Wisley/Flickr

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