5 Things You Should Tell Your Mother-in-Law Right Now

Healthy Living 109

Mothers-in-Law.

It's one of the most complicated relationships I know. Dealing with your own mother can be hard enough, but a mother who didn't raise you? One who you don't necessarily love? One who views you as competition? That can be torture.

If you are a MIL, here are some tips to help you peacefully co-exist with your precious one's chosen mate. Truly: We want to like you. We want to have a decent relationship with you, really we do.

Help us help you, won't you?

1. Don't give us unsolicited advice. Don't tell us we're feeding wrong or not disciplining enough or not teaching the right way. You had your turn. This is ours.

2. Realize that you don’t come first anymore. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be, but it’s a realization that needs to be had. Be bitter about it, mourn it, whatever. But, accept it. Even though it sucks.

3. Remember what it was like when you were in our shoes. Really remember, I mean. The sleepless nights, the endless days, the routine, and the lack of help. What would you have wanted back then? Boom. That's what we want.

4. Play with your grand-kids. Take them for a walk, read to them, interact with them. So we can take a nap. Please.

5. Cook dinner or fold the laundry or pitch in around the house. If you do, we might just forgive you for the rest of your shortcomings. Even if you tell us we're doing it all wrong.

Care to add anything?


Image via Melissa Moseley – © 2005 New Line Cinema

mental health, relationships

109 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Evalyn Carnate

My only mother in law complaint is that MINE undermines every parenting decision my husband and I make because she's afraid of being mean to The Kid. Happy Meals, late bedtimes, candy and tv...It'd all be fine if she were with the MIL once a month, but she sees the kid nearly every day! I've tried everything short of cutting off visitation, and nothing seems to get through to her.... >.<

SandM... SandMsMama

LOVE THIS! I seriously have the most selfish mil ever... I may email this to her...

Melissa Loor

I have two kids with Down Syndrome and my MIL seems to think you need to baby them since they have slight mental retardation.. I have to remind her that they need rules just like any other child. She actually has told my son how good he was and what a great listener he was RIGHT after he tells me NO!..


angry

fontie fontie

Ugh, my mother in law is the queen of passive aggressive unsolicited advice and when my S.I.L. Chimes in it's sheer torture.

LilyW... LilyWillowMom

Our baby is due in Dec, so I haven't experienced this yet.  She lives with my husband and me so I already know what kind of person she'll be once Lily arrives.


It should be .... interesting.


I'm fully expecting her to try to raise our child for us.  I've already told her, in a sideways kind of way, that I hate people who do that.

tinyp... tinypossum

I am truly lucky. My MIL is wonderful and never sticks her nose into our business. Both my ILs are fabulous and I love the dearly. 

Billie Jo Evans

My complaint about my MIL is that she doesn't spend time with our kids. She hasn't seen our kids in over 4 months. Granted, we do live 7hrs apart, but my husband is deployed and with having a 2 1/2yr old and 7 month old, I REALLY need some help. Here I am typing to you after having only 2hrs of sleep due to my teething infant and I have a full day of chores ahead of me because my toddler was sick the past 2 days so I wasn't able to do my chores. She spends all of her spare time with her husband, she hasn't attempted to try and spend time with us, I've even offered to make the trip there to spend time with her and she doesn't want anything to do with it. Now she wants to complain because we'll be moving to an army base WAYYYYY further away after my husband comes home, I'm excited because we're moving from nowhere to a HUGE place with lots of things to do, and all she can do is whine because we'll be further away......SHE DOESN'T VISIT ANYHOW!

Monke... MonkeyPeanut79

I'm lucky. I LOVE my MIL. Her and my FIL are some of the kindest,  most hard working people I know. They love their grandkids and play with them all the time. It's an even bigger blessing since I've had to cut my own mother out of my life and my father passed away.

Sinat... SinatrasKitten

My MIL loves my husband's ex wife and makes it a point to tell me & everybody else that will listen how much she loves her everytime we are around her. Oh, and this ex wife still shows up to all the family functions too.  The final straw was the ex is now remarried and just had a baby...  My MIL insisted the new baby call her "grandma". 
Needless to say I avoid family functions as much as possible...

bookw... bookworm326

I can't remember the last time my MIL visited that has not made me a crying mess. Everytime she comes all the laundry must be done. There can't be a single dirty dish (even in the dishwasher), the bathrooms must be scrubbed and dusting and vaccuuming done and there has got to be something extraordinary baked or the sighs laced with why couldn't my son found a proper partner start. Never mind the fact that I work full time on top of handling the household. When she is over she sits and watches me prepare dinner silently but all the while disappointed with every move I make. It's exhausting. We haven't had any children yet so I'm hoping once we do she will be a bit easier to deal with as there will be little ones to entertain.


 

1-10 of 109 comments 12345 Last