You Shouldn't Quit the Gym for This Dirty Little Fantasy

pole dancingTo me, the most annoying thing about going to the gym is getting there. The prying myself off the couch, the changing, the walking (or driving) -- it's all a big pain in the butt. But once I get there, it's freakin' on. Nothing beats dripping sweat while I'm pumping on the elliptical, tuning the world out with my iPod, and the feeling that I actually accomplished something once I've left. In other words, I think the gym is tops. And I would choose it over gyrating my hips and slithering up and down a nasty stripper's pole any day of the week.

Which is a lot more than I can say for the rest of you dirty birds.


According to the discount website LivingSocial, Americans are more likely to purchase pole-dancing classes than actual gym memberships. Seriously, people? Is this honestly what it's come to?

I'm sure you get an okay workout from the classes -- although judging from friends' accounts of them, the muscle that gets worked the most is the abdomen from laughing so hard -- but is it really better and healthier than a good old-fashioned, no-frills fitness club?

Sure, it's better than doing nothing, I'll give you that, but I just can't understand why someone would opt for a pole-dancing class over a discounted gym membership. Gyms are expensive, and the possibilities at those places are endless! You can walk on the treadmill, you can bounce up and down like a lunatic on the elliptical, you can lift weights, you can use machines -- you can get a brand new workout every day of the week, should you choose! Not to mention the fact that you can look like shit while doing it. You think you can roll into Stripping 101 with raggedy sweats and a lopsided ponytail (secured by a hot pink scrunchie)? You're sorely mistaken. You'll need to find yourself a sexy pair of bootie shorts, lucite heels, and a liquid eyeliner pen that can give you smoky eyes for days. That sounds more exhausting than the class itself.

I've accepted the fact that America's fascination with strippers and all things porn-like isn't going anywhere anytime soon, but, please, can we not look to them as fitness role models? Instead, let's look to them for their tough-as-nails exterior and their hearts of gold.

Would you opt for a pole-dancing class over the gym?


Image via litonali/Flickr

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